Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy ... all day.
- Mitch Hedburg
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Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Grandma Cybersalt and I are back from our trip which was very enjoyable in the easiest parts and blessed in the challenging parts. For one of the Sundays we were away I was invited to preach at Calvary Church, Toronto. Their theme this fall has been "The Heart of a Disciple" and I was asked to speak about perseverance - which I did in relation to persecution.
One of my points in that message was "A persevering Christian knows persecution is a topic used by politicians to woo their vote." I think that's really important for followers of Jesus in the Western world to be aware of, which you can hear more about in today's video share.
However, there is an old Turkish proverb that I read days after I preached that I wished I had known in order to include: "The forest was shrinking but the trees kept voting for the axe, for the axe was clever and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood, he was one of them."
I know that in the spirit of the current political the age, voters on both sides of politics will think that proverb applies to the "other side" but generations of politicians of all stripes have promised Christians they will help bring about God's ways in their country, and when you look around they have all failed because the life God calls us to comes about through faith and spiritual renewal - not by law.
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Ron just got a new sports car and was out for a drive when he cut off a truck driver. The trucker motioned for Ron to pull over.
When he did, the driver got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told Ron to stand in the circle and not move. He then went to Ron's new car and cut up the leather seats.
When the truck driver turned around Ron had a slight grin on his face.
"Oh, you think that's funny?" the trucker asked, "Watch this." He got a baseball bat out of his truck and broke every window in the car.
When he turned and looked Ron had a smile on his face.
This drove the driver into a rage. He got his knife back out and sliced all the tires. Now Ron was laughing. The truck driver really started to lose it. He went back to his truck and got a can of gas, poured it on the sports car and set it on fire. He turned around and Ron was laughing so hard he almost fell down.
"What's so funny?" the truck driver asked him.
Ron replied, "When you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle 4 times."
Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they'll want to use it.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
John was furious when his steak arrived too rare.
"Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't you hear me say 'well done'?"
"I can't thank you enough, sir," replied the waiter. "I hardly ever get a compliment."
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."
- Melody Beattie
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she didn't miss them until they had been driving about twenty minutes.
By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.
All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, her husband yelled to her, "While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Mrs. Pete Monaghan came into the newsroom to pay for her husband's obituary. She was told by the kindly newsman that it was a dollar a word and he remembered Pete and wasn't it too bad about him passing away.
She thanked him for his kind words and bemoaned the fact that she only had two dollars. But she wrote out the obituary, "Pete died."
Ron just got a new sports car and was out for a drive when he cut off a truck driver. The trucker motioned for Ron to pull over.
When he did, the driver got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told Ron to stand in the circle and not move. He then went to Ron's new car and cut up the leather seats.
When the truck driver turned around Ron had a slight grin on his face.
John was furious when his steak arrived too rare.
"Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't you hear me say 'well done'?"
"I can't thank you enough, sir," replied the waiter. "I hardly ever get a compliment."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
