Your Source of Cyber Salt for the Cyber World

sign up for free cybersalt today button

  • Home
  • Blogs
    • Archives
    • Ask Juan
    • God's Penman
    • Guest Authors
    • Moving With God
    • Shirley Choat
    • Simply Susan
    • Suneel Barkat
    • Susan Page
    • Totally Tim
  • Entertainment
    • Cartoons
    • Clean Jokes
    • Clean Puns
    • Fun Blog
    • Funny Pictures
    • One-liners
    • Games
    • Pearly Gates Jokes
    • Daily Cartoon
    • Random Jokes
    • Cybersalt Digest Archive
    • Your Turn to Be Funny
  • Inspiration
    • Body of Christ Connection
    • Illustrations
    • Quotes
    • Random Quotes
    • Truth and Reconciliation
    • Videos
    • Be A Billionaire Fund Raiser
  • News
    • Cybersalt News
    • News Feeds
    • Letters
    • Better Computing
  • Support
    • Web Hosting Packages
    • Domain Registration
    • Web Design
    • Login
    • FaceBook Modules
    • Contact Support
  • Archive

Entertainment

You've Had Too Much Coffee When

man eyes1. You ski uphill.

2. You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

3. You speed walk in your sleep.

4. You answer the door before people knock.

5. Juan Valdez has named his donkey after you.

6. You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

7. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

  • Clean Jokes
  • Coffee Jokes

Read more: You've Had Too Much Coffee When

Air Pun

smog industryAir Pollution is a mist-demeanor.

  • Clean Puns
  • Weather Puns
  • Outdoors Puns

One-Liner #1698

coinsMost people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

- George Carlin

  • One-liners
  • Money One-liners
  • Work One-liners
  • George Carlin One-liners

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4777 - November 13, 2022

Click here to view this edition online!  

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone!

taken 100 years agoThank you for praying for Pastor Suneel and family. They have found a house to rent and will be moving in a week's time.

There is a new devotional from Rev. Suneel Barkat on the Cybersalt site today. You will find the beginning of it down below in today's mailing.

Today's video share is a restful, almost sleepy, look back at some of the earliest colour photos ever taken.
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim 



Theory Testing Contest

*Winners of a Recent Theory Testing Contest*

clip boardHONOURABLE MENTION:

The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant.  If omitted in one place, they turn up in another.  When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in"erl wells."

RUNNERS-UP:

#4 The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation.  Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.

#3 Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate ideas at a faster rate.

#2 Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums.  This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out.

#1 If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.

GRAND PRIZE WINNER

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down.  I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground.  With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.



One-Liner #1697

coinsThe reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

- George Carlin



"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Be A Billionaire!


Animal Crackers

sealWhen the mother returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled out the box of animal crackers he had begged for, then he spread the animal-shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter.

"What are you doing?" his Mom asked.

"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."



Quote #2134

feet walking"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose."

- Dr. Seuss



Aging, Elderly

It’s hard to say if its an urban legend or true. Just the same, the poem says what is true and so I’m including it in the list today. Thanks to list member “pmills6734” for sending it to me.

elderly handsWhen an old lady died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Dundee, Scotland, it was felt that she had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through her meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Ireland. The old lady's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the North Ireland Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on her simple, but eloquent, poem. And this little old Scottish lady, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this "anonymous" poem winging across the Internet. Goes to show that we all leave "SOME footprints in time".....

An Old Lady's Poem

What do you see, nurses, what do you see?

What are you thinking when you're looking at me?

A crabby old woman, not very wise,

Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles her food and makes no reply

When you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try!"

Who seems not to notice the things that you do,

And forever is losing a stocking or shoe.....

Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will,

With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill....

Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?

Then open your eyes, nurse;

you're not looking at me!

I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,

As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of ten ... with a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters, who love one another.

A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,

Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet.

A bride soon at twenty -- my heart gives a leap,

Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.

At twenty-five now, I have young of my own,

Who need me to guide and a secure happy home.

A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast,

Bound to each other with ties that should last.

At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,

But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn.

At fifty once more, babies play round my knee,

Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead;

I look at the future, I shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing young of their own,

And I think of the years and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old woman ... and nature is cruel;

'Tis jest to make old age look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart,

There is now a stone where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,

And now and again my battered heart swells.

I remember the joys, I remember the pain,

And I'm loving and living life over again.

I think of the years ....all too few, gone too fast,

And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.

So open your eyes, nurses, open and see,

Not a crabby old woman; look closer ...see ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an old person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within ...... We will one day be there, too!


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

One-Liner #1697

coinsThe reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

- George Carlin

  • One-liners
  • Listening One-liners
  • Communication Jokes
  • Advice One-liners
  • George Carlin One-liners
  1. Theory Testing Contest
  2. Animal Crackers
  3. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4776 - November 10, 2022
  4. Congratulations on 160 Years

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4641
 

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4641

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  534

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1986

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4641

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2041

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners! 

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

Page 307 of 2983

  • 302
  • 303
  • 304
  • 305
  • 306
  • 307
  • 308
  • 309
  • 310
  • 311