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Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone!

Thanks to Cybersaltine, Linda F, for catching that the student in the item "Gullibiity" started out as a she and ended up as a he. I wasn't sure which to correct so I Googled some of the facts in the piece and found it was freshman Nathan Zohner, a 14-year-old student at Eagle Rock Junior High School. The item in question has been updated!

I showed today's video share to Grandma Cybersalt, who is a gifted piano player and teacher, and she exclaimed, "Crazy!" I asked, "Only young people can do that, right?" She agreed.
Click here to watch today's video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim 

Collards is green
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

You have som'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yo're too special,
you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...
IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!

I'm gonna spend Valentine's Day with my ex... Box 360.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Archaeologists will date any old thing.

"We wrong those near us in being independent of them. God himself would not be happy without his Son. We ought to lean on each other, giving and receiving - not as weaklings, but as lovers. Love is strength as well as need."

- George MacDonald, The Landlady's Master (aka: The Elect Lady)

Wanting to be married, a couple came to the county courthouse in Virginia where I work. But they accidentally walked up to the offices where hunting licenses are sold.

"We're from out of state," said the prospective groom. "Can we get a license?"

The clerk replied, "No, but I can give you a three-day permit."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

I will be the first to confess that I love my coffee, especially in the morning. When anybody asks how much coffee is enough, I usually say, “Just one more cup.”

My day cannot get started until I’ve had a sufficient amount of coffee. If I don’t have enough coffee when I meet somebody, they will look at me and say, “Have you had your coffee today?”

I respond by saying, “Well, not enough.”

I haven’t always been a fan of coffee. If I am obsessed with coffee, I will have to blame The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage for this. She is the one that introduced me to coffee, and here I am.

When I was young, I hated the coffee my parents had. I tried tasting it a couple of times, and it really was awful, almost like mud. How they were able to drink that coffee is beyond me.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.