One-liners

One-liner Advice: It's a great activity for someone who doesn't have to do it.

One-liner Advice: You should get in on the ground floor before the program gets off the ground.

One-liner Advice: Survival is important, but don't stake your life on it.

One-liner Advice: Don't give up hope; there's a chance the inevitable won't happen.

One-liner Advice: The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

- W.C. Fields

One-liner Advice: It pays to buy things you dislike; they last much longer.

One-liner Advice: Every ambitious man should be modest.

Another "World's Oldest Man" has died; this is beginning to look suspicious.

So, apparently airport security doesn't like it when you call shotgun before boarding a plane.

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes ...

"When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you."

- Nora Ephron

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

- Robert A. Heinlein

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?  I think that's how dogs spend their lives."

- Sue Murphy

"I'm an expert on Chinese food; when I eat it I only use one chopstick."

- George Burns