Entertainment
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2. You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine"
3. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
4. You drink pop, not soda.
5. This doesn't bother you at all.
6. You know what it means to be on pogey.
7. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
8. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba.
9. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
10. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
11. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
12. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
13. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
14. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
15. You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap".
16. You know that Mounties "don't always look like that"
17. You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
18. You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
19. You are excited whenever an American television station mentions Canada.
20. You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-dink..."
21. You were mad when "The Beachcombers" were taken off the air.
22. You know what a toque is.
23. You admit Rich Little is Canadian.
24. You know Toronto is not a province.
25. You never miss "Coach's Corner".
26. You know all the words to "If I Had a Million Dollars"
27. You know who Ernie Coombs was.
28. You have memorized the Heritage Foundation's Heritage Moments, including your favourites, "I smell burnt toast!"
29. You get into arguments over how the letter "z" is pronounced.
30. You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet, because you can really use more change (You are already wearing your pants halfway down your butt).
The new coin should have a picture of a musk-ox on it and be the size of a hamburger patty with fifteen different kinds of metals in it, including poutine.
31. You know Ashley MacIssac isn't Celtic enough.
32. Your backpack has only one Canadian flag sew-on.
33. You have been on Speaker's Corner.
34. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
35. You remember "Jodie" from "Today's Special" and wonder why she reads news on CBC.
36. You wonder idly if there is some government cover up of a covert operation behind shifting the shooting location of "X-Files" from British Columbia to California.
37. You know that a "Premier" isn't a baby born a few weeks early.
38. You design your Hallowe'en costume to fit over a snowsuit.
39. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one metre above the ground.
40. The local paper covers national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
41. You know 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
42. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
43. You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada"
44. You actually get these jokes and forward them to your Canadian friends.
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Several members who have been in the hospital are not on their way to recovery, for which we are thankful.
The Jack and Kill Daycare is looking for someone to help part time on Saturdays.
We'll kick off the Christmas season this morning with our first hymn, "The First Nowell"
Our Wednesday Night Family Cafeteria meal will feature a variety of Chinese dishes including One Ton Soup.
Events: December 9th, Christmas Caroling at the Parkview Nursing Home 7:00 p.m., December 10th, Breakfast with Satan 6:00 to 9:00 a.m. in the Fellowship Hall.
The Youth Group had a scavenger hunt, did face painting, and played a game called, "Find the gun." They had a great time.
The Pastor's Corner: A Personal Massage from Jesus
Due to Construction on the North side of the parking lot, we will soon be changing entrances. Please exit the new driveway which is the one in between the old entrance and the old exit. Please exit from the new exit which is the old entrance.
Our Senior's group is sponsoring a dance December 12. You can Dance the Night Away from 5:00 until 7:00 p.m. for only $5 per person.
What are you doing for Lunch Tuesday? Local Funeral Director Barry Gilbert will talk about the benefits of cremation.
The Riegieman Chiropractic Center will host Kid's Day this Saturday. They'll be treating the youth group to spinal exams, backpack checks, I.D. Cards, etc.
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The minister's car wouldn't start and so he called the garage to come and tow it in for repairs. When the truck driver appeared at his house to get the car, the minister says, "I hope you go easy on me. You know I'm only a poor preacher."
"I know," replied the tow truck driver... "I've heard you preach."
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Here's a really fun game where you move the blocks around to open the path to slide the blue bar through the opening. I don't know how many levels there are in this challenge, so just be careful in the event that there are enough to stretch your morning coffee break right through lunch and up to the time your boss calls you into the office to suggest its time you put your resume on monster.com and find a job as a professional game player.
Here's how to play:
Drag the blocks to move them left or right or up or down,
depending upon their orientation.
The object is to move the blueblock out through the opening on the right.
When you complete a level, level up and down buttons appear
appropriately under the level indicator.
All your progress is automatically saved.
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A widow, recently married to a widower, was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked, "I suppose, like all men who have been married before, your husband sometimes talks about his first wife?"
"Oh, not any more," the other woman replied.
"What stopped him?" asked the first.
"I started talking about my next husband," replied the second woman.
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An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
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We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
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Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
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The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
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Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
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We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
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Our collection of puns.
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An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
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A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
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Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!