Entertainment

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I do not like yard work.  I am especially not fond of cutting the grass - though I have fond memories of our old Lawn Boy lawnmower.

One of the things that drives me nuts about cutting the grass is having to first stoop and scoop our dog's stuff, move planters, lawn chairs, and then visiting relatives so I can have a straight run at our offensively tall blades of grass (I know it's not Kentucky Blue because it's green) with my Sears 6.5 horsepower, gas powered, self-propelled, rear bagging mower.  Don't even get me going about having to navigate around trees and their roots.

My motto for cutting the grass? - "What I mow, let me mow quickly and in a straight line."

Needless to say, I won't be adding one of these grass chairs to my backyard very soon.

?>

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My engineer husband is meticulous but mild-mannered.

While our new house was being built, he would leave notes for the workmen, politely calling their attention to mistakes or oversights.

Two weeks before we were to move in, the floors still were not finished, the bathrooms not tiled, nor were necessary fixtures installed.  I was sure that the work would never be completed in time.  However, on moving day, we found that the house was ready to receive us.

Curious as to how this miracle had been accomplished, I went and checked where my husband always left his notes for the workmen.  Posted prominently on the living room wall was my husband's last note:

"After September 15, all work will be supervised by 5 children."

Details

Students at school were asked to write about the harmful effects of oil on fish.

One 11-year old wrote, "When my mom opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead."

Details
"Now this is the verbal part of your employment test," said the interviewer.

"Can you tell me what gross aggrandized annuity means?"

"Certainly," replied the applicant.

"It means I don't get the job."

Details

Bored during a long flight, an eminent scholar leaned over and woke up the sleeping man next to him to ask if he would like to play a game.

"I'll ask you a question," the scholar explained, "and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50."

When the man agreed to play, the scholar asked, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" Flummoxed, the man handed him $5. "Ha!" said the scholar. "It's 238,857 miles. Now it's your turn."

The man was silent for a few moments. Then he asked, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"

Puzzled, the scholar racked his brains for an hour--but to no avail. Finally he took out his wallet and handed over $50. "Okay, okay, what is the answer?" the scholar asked.

The man said, "I don't know," pulled out a $5 bill, handed it to the scholar, and went back to sleep.

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ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
 

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ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.

 

 

 

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ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.

 

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