Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday.

If you were cheering for the Vancouver Canucks to win the Stanley Cup last night, your eyes are probably a little red this morning due to crying yourself to sleep or perhaps because you were tear gassed on the way home from the game.

Congratulations Boston! Our team beat you 3 times but you beat ours 4 and now your captain, Chara, has hoisted the Cup higher than it has ever been - which would have been the perfect opportunity for David and his sling.

Speaking of riots, here is my favorite quote from the live coverage of them on the CBC last night: "There goes some more riot police beating their shields with their dogs."

Today's featured page on the Cybersalt Site is "Jeep Flat":
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/jeep-flat

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Drought Conditions"

Two brothers, both farmers, were talking on the phone.

One asked the other how bad the drought was in his area.

The other replied, “Well it's got so bad they've closed two lanes at the local swimming pool."

Today's CleanPun

Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City:

The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendants' fault, it was the asphalt!"

Today's One Liner

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" but just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

Today's CleanQuote

"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."

Today's Illustration - "Just One"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

One song can spark a moment,
One flower can wake the dream.

One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring.

One smile begins a friendship,
One handclasp lifts a soul.

One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal.

One vote can change a nation,
One sunbeam lights a room.

One candle wipes out darkness,
One laugh will conquer gloom.

One step must start each journey,
One word must start each prayer.

One hope will raise our spirits,
One touch can show you care.

One voice can speak with wisdom,
One heart can know what's true.

One life can make the difference,
You see, IT'S UP TO YOU!
- Unknown

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.

PRIVATE!
I said fix the flat on the jeep!

Two brothers, both farmers, were talking on the phone.

One asked the other how bad the drought was in his area.

The other replied, “Well it's got so bad they've closed two lanes at the local swimming pool."

Cybersalt News

Some dogs just don't look the way any dog is supposed to look!
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-dog-pictures/dog-glare

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "4 Year Old Rider"

Mother asks little Johnny, as they wait for the bus, to tell the driver he is 4 years old when asked because he will ride for free.

As they get into the bus the driver asks Johnny how old he is. "I am 4 years old."

"And when will you be six years old?" asks the driver.

“When I get off the bus," answers Johnny.

Today's CleanPun

After Old Man McGraw chewed us out, we went over to his house and we drew all kinds of pictures on his driveway, sidewalk, and foundation with sidewalk chalk.

That'll teach him to mess with the Mural Majority!

~John Gardner

Today's One Liner

"I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on, but I can't afford one so ... I'm wearing my garage door opener."

Today's CleanQuote

"People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first."
~David H. Comins

Today's Illustration - "Disaster Encounter"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

"Oh, No!" the father gasped as he surveyed the disaster before him. Never in his 40 years of life had he seen anything like it. How anyone could have survived he did not know.

He could only hope that somewhere amid the overwhelming destruction he would find his 16-year-old son. Only the slim hope of finding Danny kept him from turning and fleeing the scene. He took a deep breath and proceeded.

Walking was virtually impossible with so many things strewn across his path. He moved ahead slowly.

"Danny! Danny!" he whispered to himself. He tripped and almost fell several times. He heard someone, or something, move. At least he thought he did. Perhaps, he was just hoping he did. He shook his head and felt his gut tighten.

He couldn't understand how this could have happened. There was some light but not enough to see very much. Something cold and wet brushed against his hand. He jerked it away.

In desperation, he took another step then cried out, "Danny!".

From a nearby pile of unidentified material, he heard his son. "Yes, Dad," he said, in a voice so weak it could hardly be heard.

"It's time to get up and get ready for school," the man sighed, "and, for heaven's sake, clean up this room."

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.