Entertainment
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The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied,
"Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this, 'Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, 'Congratulations on your new location.'"
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A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But what do you make when life gives you elephants and lots of elephant . . . . um . . . errr . . . well . . . . poo. Apparently you make exotic paper.
I think the idea for this is pretty neat but I'm not sure I want to lick any envelopes that elephants initially licked and then worse. I don't like my steak or my envelopes to taste gamey. I suppose that one solution to that dilemma might be the self-adhering envelopes - I've seen plenty of those at staples, office depot, and other office supply chains.
And then there is the smell. I pity the poor soldier who gets mail from his girl back home and holds it to his nose to smell her sweet perfume. "Snifffffff . . . . . Oh, yeah, that's Becky writing me again."
This is a stationery product that cries out for a famous spokesman - "Hi. Me Tarzan. Other day me swing through trees and see pile of elephant dung. That remind me that I no write Jane for long time. Thanks Exotic Papers!"
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After a few weeks of this, his boss was mad and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it.
So Bob went to his doctor, who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. He got a great night's sleep and actually beat the alarm in the morning. After a leisurely breakfast, he cheerfully drove to work.
"Boss," he said, "The pill my doctor subscribed me actually worked!"
"That's all fine," said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"
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Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant's owner waited nervously for the clerics' reaction.
"Quick, man," he whispered to the waiter, "what did they say?"
"Nothing," replied the waiter. "They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets."
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