The future isn't what it used to be.
One-liners
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
I wish I was as fat as I was the first time I thought I was fat.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
If Facebook has taught us anything, it's that a lot of you are not quite ready for a Spelling Bee.
I look both ways before crossing a one-way street; that's how little faith I have in humanity!
If I had a dollar for every time I used algebra in my adult life, I'd have 'n' dollars.
"Oh, the majesty of French Justice, which forbids rich and poor, alike, to sleep on park benches!"
- Anatole France
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
- Edward Abbey
Self-Annihilating Sentences
I've told you a million times not to exaggerate.
Self-Annihilating Sentences
Why should I consider your questions, when you don't even know the answers?
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time...
but you can never fool mom.
Self-Annihilating Sentences
A little pain never hurt anyone.
Self-Annihilating Sentences: If you think about it long enough, you'll see that it's obvious.
Self-Annihilating Sentences
You have one choice
Self-Annihilating Sentences
You have the distinction of being the only one who is not exceptional.