Self-Annihilating Sentence
Nickels are a dime a dozen!
One-liners
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
"I am myself, and I'm going to continue to play that role!"
- Richard Nixon
I used to think that marriage was a 50 - 50 proposition ... until I realized that I knew nothing about women or fractions.
- Walter McLauren
Even though I don't say so, I think you stink!
Acupuncture is pointless.
Grammar has gots to be one of the most importantest things ever?
Rehab is for quitters!
Profanity sucks.
Not only am I redundant and superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.
I always wanted to be a procrastinator!
I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it.
I have a twin brother - he's identical, but I am not.
I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
I am becoming increasingly worried that there isn't enough anxiety in my life.
Children: You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up.