One-liners

I'm not indecisive ... unless you want me to be.

I'm never at my best.

Self-Annihilating Sentences: Decisions

The executive committee proposes the following compromise:

make it optional for those who want it, and required for those who don't.

Our lack or cooperation is mutual!

Self-Annihilating Sentence

There is no other language but French.

"He hasn't a single redeeming vice!"

- Oscar Wilde

If you ever hear me order a decaf coffee, I've been kidnapped and am trying to signal you.

Self-Annihilating Sentence: Complaints

We have worked ourselves into a frenzy of lethargy!

Yesterday, tomorrow was the day after tomorrow.

Just sold my homing pigeon on eBay ... again.

If the Earth were flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Self-Annihilating Sentence

You'll live to regret this when I have you shot!

If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving - I don't make the rules!

The discerning eye is a pain in the neck!

Self-Annihilating Sentences

If he were alive today, he'd turn over in his grave!