One-liners

I am certain of it, but I may be wrong.

He's a unique type.

Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning - or possibly just a very hairy guy; either way, the silver bullets worked.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!

He doesn't have much of a reputation, or so I've heard.

Cooperation can only be reached if we work together.

Quantum mechanics: the dreams stuff is made of.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Always try to be modest ... and be proud of it!

Ever consider what dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!

- Anne Tyler

Laughter is the best medicine - unless you have diarrhea.

Anyone who goes to a psychoanalyst should have his head examined.

- Samuel Goldwyn

Walkie-talkies neither walk nor talk; they should be called holdie-noisies.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.