One-liners

Self-Annihilating Sentences

Why should I consider your questions, when you don't even know the answers?

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time...

but you can never fool mom.

Self-Annihilating Sentences

A little pain never hurt anyone.

Self-Annihilating Sentences: If you think about it long enough, you'll see that it's obvious.

Self-Annihilating Sentences

You have one choice

Self-Annihilating Sentences

You have the distinction of being the only one who is not exceptional.

Self-Annihilating Sentences

Way down deep, he's shallow.

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Idols depend on you; God doesn't. 

I have my doubts about disbelief.

"Things that upset a chihuahua may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane."

- Smiley Blanton

"Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?"

If you're lucky enough to be Irish... you're lucky enough!

You can tell an Irishman is having a good time when you see him Dublin over with laughter!