Friendly checkout clerk... thanks for keeping me that way!
One-liners
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paychecks!
Now that we have everyone washing their hands correctly, next week: turn signals!!!
You! Off my planet!
Whisper my favorite words, "I'll buy it for you."
Meandering to a different drummer.
Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done.
Nice perfume; must you marinate in it??
If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.
Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.
Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
Adults are just kids who owe money.
I pretend to work; they pretend to pay me.
I started out with nothing and still have most of it left!
Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.