When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
- Rodney Dangerfield
One-liners
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Not saying I live in a rough area, but just bought an advent calendar and half the windows are boarded up!
I'm only talking to my dog today.
Here I am - now what are your other two wishes?
The time has come to rise above principles!
Let us do for a second time what we refused to do at first; this will avoid setting a precedent.
This presents us with an insurmountable opportunity.
Grandma Cybersalt here. Tim didn't get this one liner, but I liked it so you get to read it...
Lockdown can only go 4 ways:
You'll come out a monk, a hunk, a chunk or a drunk; choose wisely!
Half the lies they tell about me are true!
He knew everything, but that's all.
The best time to do a full day's shopping is in the morning.
When it comes to giving, some men stop at nothing.
A preposition must not be used to end a sentence with.
I can't stand people who look down on people who look down on people.
Wake up, it's time for your sleeping pill.