One-liners

So let me get this straight, there's no cure for a virus that can be KILLED by sanitizer and hand soap?

I'm gonna work on being less condescending. (Condescending means to talk down to people.)

Common sense is not a gift, it's a punishment because you have to deal with everyone who doesn't have it.

Five symptoms of laziness:

1.

The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.

Paranoia has reached absurd stages ... I sneezed in front of my laptop and the anti-virus started a scan on its own.

The dumbest thing I've ever purchased was a 2020 planner!

If these last few weeks have taught us anything, it is that stupidity travels faster than any virus on the planet.

I’m deeply disturbed by how many people seem to see washing their hands as a new thing.

I don’t like the fact that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others.

In the rush to return to normal, use this time to consider which parts of normal are worth rushing back to.

And your cry-baby whiny opinion would be...?

They should make an alarm clock that sounds like a dog about to puke; nothing gets you out of bed faster!

So in retrospect, in 2015, not a single person got the answer right to, "Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?"

How long is this social-distancing thing supposed to last? My husband keeps trying to come into the house.