One of the hardest decisions in life is when to start middle age.
One-liners
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
If you're such a good cook, why do we have to pray before every meal?
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
- Rodney Dangerfield
Not saying I live in a rough area, but just bought an advent calendar and half the windows are boarded up!
I'm only talking to my dog today.
Here I am - now what are your other two wishes?
The first Christmas was pretty simple ... it's okay if yours is too.
The time has come to rise above principles!
Let us do for a second time what we refused to do at first; this will avoid setting a precedent.
This presents us with an insurmountable opportunity.
Grandma Cybersalt here. Tim didn't get this one liner, but I liked it so you get to read it...
Lockdown can only go 4 ways:
You'll come out a monk, a hunk, a chunk or a drunk; choose wisely!
Half the lies they tell about me are true!
He knew everything, but that's all.
The best time to do a full day's shopping is in the morning.
When it comes to giving, some men stop at nothing.