The dumbest thing I've ever purchased was a 2020 planner!
One-liners
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
If these last few weeks have taught us anything, it is that stupidity travels faster than any virus on the planet.
I’m deeply disturbed by how many people seem to see washing their hands as a new thing.
I don’t like the fact that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others.
In the rush to return to normal, use this time to consider which parts of normal are worth rushing back to.
And your cry-baby whiny opinion would be...?
They should make an alarm clock that sounds like a dog about to puke; nothing gets you out of bed faster!
So in retrospect, in 2015, not a single person got the answer right to, "Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?"
How long is this social-distancing thing supposed to last? My husband keeps trying to come into the house.
Happiness is a competitive advantage.
This is the first year I'm not going to Fiji due to COVID-19;
I usually don't go because I'm poor.
I've lost my mind, and I'm pretty sure the kids took it.
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed!
Everyone is posting memes and talking about coming out of this quarantine with a new skill or side hustle; I’m just sitting here wondering how I never noticed there’s a turd in Saturday.