December is the month to “sleigh” the holiday decorations!
One-liners
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict; so I'm going home for the hollandaise.
I can't keep calm; I'm Scottish!
A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion. But doesn't.
When you die, people cry and beg for you to come back but when you do, there's the running and the screaming...
When you think about the vastness of space and how enormous our galaxy is and how big our planet is and how small we are, I'm not really eating all that much cheese.
Due to inflation you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.
Deep thought of the day:
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.
By replacing your morning coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 87% of what little joy you still have left in your life.
I recently bought a toilet brush .... Long story short, I'm going back to toilet paper.
I hate it when I see some old person and then realize we went to high school together.
My wife tells me I can be an idiot sometimes; I think it's pretty cool of her to give me permission like that...
Education is important, but good ice cream is importanter.
Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.
(How to politely tell someone they are not very bright.)
Wisdom has always been chasing you, but you have always been faster.