A couple of nuns who were nursing sisters had gone out to the country to minister to an outpatient. On the way back they were a few miles from home when they ran out of gas. They were standing beside their car on the shoulder when a truck approached.
Seeing ladies of the cloth in distress, the driver stopped to offer his help. The nuns explained they needed some gas. The driver of the truck said he would gladly drain some from his tank, but he didn't have a bucket or can. One of the nuns dug out a clean bedpan and asked the driver if he could use it. He said yes, and proceeded to drain a couple of quarts of gas into the pan. He waved good-bye to the nuns and left.
The nuns were carefully pouring the precious fluid into their gas tank when the highway patrol came by. The trooper stopped and watched for a minute, then he said, "Sisters, I don't think it will work, but I sure do admire your faith!"
PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.
I just wish pictures and mirrors could agree on what I actually look like.
Sunday greetings everyone.
Rev. James Snyder recently had a drunk call him at 2:37 in the morning to ask a question about Jonah and the whale. I suppose that is one of the hazards of putting your phone number at the end of article you post online. The episode was a reminder to him that anyone who sincerely inquires of God receives an answer. You can read more about the whole episode in "Would You Like A Burp With That Hiccup?" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/would-you-like-a-burp-with-that-hiccup
The next message in my "Hall of Faith" series from Hebrews 11 is on the Westside Bible Church site. You can listen to "Noah - Hall of Faith" at:
www.westsidefamily.org/messages/noah-hall-of-faith
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
A man who worked the help desk for a large company received a call one day from a co-worker who called him because she couldn't figure out why her computer wouldn't come on.
So he asked her, "Did you plug it in?"
"Yes."
He then asked her, "Did you turn in on?"
She said, "Yes. What do you think I am? Some kind of goober?"
So, he went to her cubicle to take a look at her computer.
She was perplexed. "See? I plugged the computer into the surge protector."
The guy goes, "Yea, but you plugged the surge protector into itself."
They say you're not supposed to go to the grocery store when you're hungry; it's been several days now ... what should I do?
Whiteboards ... they're remarkable.
"Airports see more sincere kisses than wedding halls. The walls of hospitals have heard more prayers than the walls of churches."
- Unknown
Fast from judging others;
Feast on Christ dwelling in them.
Fast from apparent darkness;
Feast on the reality of light.
Fast from pessimism;
Feast on optimism.
Fast from thoughts of illness;
Feast on the healing power of God.
Fast from words that pollute;
Feast on phrases that purify.
Fast from anger;
Feast on patience.
Fast from worry;
Feast on Divine Providence.
Fast from unrelenting pressure;
Feast on unceasing prayer.
Fast from negatives;
Feast on positives.
Fast from complaining;
Feast on appreciation.
Fast from hostility;
Feast on non-resistance.
Fast from bitterness;
Feast on forgiveness.
Fast from anxiety;
Feast on hope.
Fast from yourself;
Feast on a silent heart.
- Unknown
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
