If you gather enough men together eventually they will cancel out each other's collective wisdom. Case in point,consider this episode of "You bet a hip!"
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Did you know that if you get together enough men they will eventually cancel out each other's collective wisdom? Today's entry in the FunBlog is a great example. You will find "You bet a hip!" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/you-bet-a-hip
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
A guy took his girlfriend to a football game for the first time.
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.
Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents."
"What on earth do you mean???"
"Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was, "Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!"
Always keep a book with you at all times in case of an emergency; you know, like social gatherings.
When my friends told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
"Givers have to set limits because takers rarely do."
- Irma Kurtz
A Rabbi was walking home from the Temple and saw one of his good friends, a pious and learned man who could usually beat the rabbi in religious arguments.
The rabbi started walking faster so that he could catch up to his friend, when he was horrified to see his friend go into a non kosher Chinese restaurant. Standing at the door, he observed his friend talking to a waiter and gesturing at a menu. A short time later, the waiter reappeared carrying a platter full of spare ribs, shrimp in lobster sauce, crab rangoon and other treif that the Rabbi could not bear to think about.
As his friend picked up the chopsticks and began to eat this food, the Rabbi burst into the restaurant and reproached his friend, for he could take it no longer.
"Morris, what is this you are doing? I saw you come into this restaurant, order this filth and now you are eating it in violation of everything we are taught about the dietary laws and with an apparent enjoyment that does not befit your pious reputation!"
Morris replied, "Rabbi, did you see me enter this restaurant?"
The Rabbi nods yes.
"Did you see me order this meal?"
Again he nods yes.
"Did you see the waiter bring me this food?"
Again he nods yes.
"And did you see me eat it?"
The Rabbi nods yes.
"Then, Rabbi, I don't see the problem here. The entire meal was done under Rabbinical supervision."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Always keep a book with you at all times in case of an emergency; you know, like social gatherings.
When my friends told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
Sunday greetings everyone.
This week Rev. James Snyder has been wondering if the Russians have hacked his thermometer. He has also been thinking about how appearances can be deceiving. You can read "Did Someone Just Hack My Thermometer?" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/did-someone-just-hack-my-thermometer
There is also a new devotional by my good friend Dr. Harold McNabb. Technically it`s not new, but he just told me about it over coffee this past Friday so it`s new to me. You can read `The Piano`at:
www.cybersalt.org/dr-harold-mcnabb/the-piano
Also, the Westside Bible Church site has been updated with an audio recording of my most recent message.
You can listen to "Deliver Us From Evil - The Lord's Prayer" at:
www.westsidefamily.org/messages/deliver-us-from-evil-the-lord-s-prayer
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Mr. Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When Mr. Lee returned, he shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
Mr. Lee nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
Replied Mr. Lee, "No, from skipping."
As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought, "Dogs are easily amused;" then I realized I was watching the dog chase his tail.
Between Pentecostal and Baptist worship styles, I prefer Baptist, hands down.
"Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will."
- Suzy Kassem
It isn't the thing you do, friend, it's the thing you leave undone,
Which gives you the bitter heartache, at the setting of the sun:
The tender words unspoken, to letter you did not write,
The flowers you might have sent, are your haunting ghosts at night.
The stone you might have lifted, out of a dear friend's way,
The bit of heartsome counsel you were hurried too much to say:
The loving touch of a helping hand, the gentle and winsome tone,
That you had no time or thought for, with troubles enough of your own.
These little acts of kindness, so easily out of mind,
These chances to be angels, which even mortals find.
They come in night and silence, each chill reproachful wraith,
When hope is faint and flagging, and a blight has dropped on faith.
For life is all too short, friend, and sorrow is all to great,
To suffer our slow compassion, that tarries until too late.
So, it's not the things you do, it's the deeds you leave undone,
Which gives you a bitter heartache, at the setting of the sun.
- Bertha A. Lawson
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
