A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial--it went like this:
Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q: Officer, who provided this description?
A: The officer who responded to the scene.
Sunday greetings everyone.
Today, Rev. James Snyder is musing about the difference between hearing and listening. You can read more in "Hearing and Listening Are Not Necessarily the Same" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/hearing-and-listening-are-not-necessarily-the-same
The Westside Bible Church website has been updated with the audio recording of last Sunday's sermon. It is the first in my "Hall of Faith" series from Hebrews 11. You can listen to "Abel and Enoch - Hall of Faith" at:
www.westsidefamily.org/messages/abel-and-enoch-hall-of-faith
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Miss Smith and Little Johnny's father were having a parent teacher conference.
Miss Smith said to Little Johnny's father, "Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son."
Little Johnny's father asked, "What's that?"
"With grades like these, he couldn't possibly be cheating."
Deep thoughts of the day: when you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.
Bert: "Say, Ernie, would you like some ice-cream?"
Ernie: "Sherbert."
"The history of every temptation, and of every sin, is the same; the outward object of attraction, the inward commotion of mind, the increase and triumph of passionate desires, ending in the degradation, slavery, and ruin of the soul."
- Unknown
I asked God to take away my pride,
And God said, "No."
He said it was not for Him to take away,
But for me to give up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole,
And God said, "No."
He said her spirit is eternal,
While her body is only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience,
And God said, "No."
He said patience is a by-product of tribulation.
It isn't granted - it is earned.
I asked God to give me happiness,
And God said, "No."
He said He gives blessings,
Happiness is up to me.
I asked God to spare me pain,
And God said, "No."
He said, "Suffering draws you apart from
Worldly cares and brings you close to Me."
I asked God to make my spirit grow,
And God said, "No."
He said I must grow on my own,
But He will prune me to make it fruitful.
I asked God if He loved me,
And God said, "Yes.
I gave my only Son to die for you,
And someday you will be in heaven with me
Because you believe."
I asked God to help me love others
As much as He loves me,
And God said,
"Ah, finally you have the idea."
- Claudia Minden Welsz
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Deep thoughts of the day: when you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.
Miss Smith and Little Johnny's father were having a parent teacher conference.
Miss Smith said to Little Johnny's father, "Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son."
Little Johnny's father asked, "What's that?"
"With grades like these, he couldn't possibly be cheating."
Bert: "Say, Ernie, would you like some ice-cream?"
Ernie: "Sherbert."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
