One-liners

"Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups."

"At my age, forget all the health food; I need all the preservatives I can get!"

"At my age, I can't see the forest OR the trees."

"At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all. I just can't remember it all."

"At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying."

"Ba-dee, ba-dee, ba-dee . . . . .that's all folks."

- Porky Pig

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."

~ Mark Twain

"Be different; Conform."

"Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for."

~Will Rogers

"Before resolving to jog five miles a day, visit a cardiologist to have your heart examined, a podiatrist to have your feet examined and a psychiatrist to have your head examined. "

"Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?"

"Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers."

"Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever."

"Buffet" is a French term that means, "Get up and get it yourself."

- Greg Ray

"Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without."