One-liners

"Rain is what makes flowers grow and taxis disappear."

"Rain is what makes flowers grow and taxis disappear."

"Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges."

"Red meat is not bad for you - it's green fuzzy meat that's bad for you"

"Responsibility: Something you should accept if, and only if, they have irrefutable photographic evidence."

"ROME: Catholic theologians now concentrating on Problem of Evil after finally solving a Problem like Maria."

"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year."

- Victor Borge

"Santa must be a man because no woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year."

"Save the earth - it's the only planet with chocolate."

"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."

"Sign on the door of a marriage license bureau: 'Out to Lunch. Think it over.'"

"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."

"Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield."

"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."

"Some people have a way with words - others not have way."