Entertainment

Be careful if you ask for a doggie bag.

It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Murray was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker. "Would the gentleman on the Ladies tee back up to the men's tee, please!"

Murray was still deep in his routine, seemingly oblivious to the interruption.

Again the announcement, "Would the MAN on the WOMEN'S tee, kindly back up to the men's tee!"

Murray had had enough. He broke his stance, lowered his driver back to the ground and shouted, "Would the announcer in the clubhouse kindly be quiet and let me play my second shot?"

Cybersalt News

If you've ever had a tingling sense like something was up, you'll understand how Sharon often feels.  Check out "Tingling Senses" at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/tingling-senses

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim

Today's CleanLaugh

Good Robbery

The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.

"It's bad," said the proprietor, "but it's not as bad as it could have been if he'd robbed me yesterday."

"Why is that?" the detective asked.

"Because today everything was on sale."

Today's One-liner

One-liner #1043

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise." - unknown

Today's Clean Pun

Theatre Ban

After the London Playwrights Guild found out what Shakespeare was up to, he was bard for life.

Today's Quote

Quote #1491

You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.

- Psalm 18:28-29

A Brokxn Kxy

Evxn though my typxwritxr is an old modxl, it works quitx wxll xxcxpt for onx of the kxys. I havx many timxs wishxd that it workxd pxrfxctly.

It is trux that thxrx arx forty-onx kxys that function wxll xnough, but just onx kxy not working makxs thx diffxrxncx.

Somxtimxs it sxxms to mx that our church is somxthing likx my typxwritxr -- not all thx kxy pxoplx arx working propxrly.

As onx of thxm, you may say to yoursxlf, "Wxll, I am only onx pxrson, I don't makx or brxak thx church."

But it doxs makx a big diffxrxncx, bxcasx a church, to bx xffxctivx, nxxds thx activx participation of xvxry pxrson.

So, thx nxxt timx your xfforts arx not nxxdxd vxry much, rxmxmbxr my typxwritxr and say to yoursxlf, "I am a kxy pxrson in thx congrxgation and I am nxxdxd vxry much."

This is what happxns to thx wholx church, and multiply this by many timxs -- thx whole thing just doxs not makx sxnsx!

So, don't be a broken key - be a useful one.

- Author Unknown

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Sharon's senses were tingling again.