Entertainment

Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast.

Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband.

"Henry," she said, "I've just received a letter from mother saying she isn't accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn't you?"

"Er, yes, I did," said the husband. "But I couldn't spell convenience, so I made it risk."

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday; usually either Nestle or Captain.

Cybersalt News

Sometimes it's hard to relax when you finally get away from work. Hopefully you have an easier time than Joanne is in today's newest Funny Picture on the Cybersalt Site.  You'll find "Still at the Office" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-horse-pictures/still-at-the-office 

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim

Today's CleanLaugh

Hearing Test

A man goes to his doctor and says "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be, what should I do?"

The doctor replies: "Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesn't respond keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you."

The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and says "What's for dinner, Honey?" No response.

He moves to ten feet behind her and asks again. No response.

Five feet, no answer. Finally he stands directly behind her and says, "Honey, what's for supper?"

She turns and in exasperation says, "For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN!"

Today's One-liner

One-liner #1055

Change is inevitable except from vending machines.

Today's Clean Pun

Math Coffee

When a mathematician tells you he makes a mean cup of coffee, he means average.

Today's Quote

Quote #1503

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind."

- C.S. Lewis

Savor of Christ

Charles Spurgeon once told of a young preacher asking for feedback from a sermon, and who asked what an older pastor found wrong with his sermon. This was the old preacher's response:

"There was no Christ in it."

The young man defended himself, objecting, “Well, Christ was not in the text. We are not to be preaching Christ always; we must preach what is in the text.”

In response, the older pastor drew this analogy:

“Don’t you know, young man, that from every town, and every village, and every little hamlet in England, wherever it may be, there is a road to London? Just so from every text in Scripture there is a road to the metropolis of the Scriptures, that is Christ.

Your business is to ask of a text, ‘Now what is the road to Christ?’ and then preach a sermon, running along the road towards the great metropolis - Christ.

I have never yet found a text that had not got a road to Christ in it.

I will go over hedge and ditch to get at my Master, for the sermon cannot do any good unless there be a savor of Christ in it.”

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.