Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobe walk into a Chinese Restaurant.
Ten minutes into the meal, Luke is still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere.
Obi-Wan finally tells him, “Use the forks, Luke."
At the end of the college year, a star football player celebrated the relaxation of team curfew by attending a late night campus party.
Soon after arriving, he became captivated by a beautiful coed and eased into a conversation with her by asking if she met many dates at parties.
"Oh, I have a 3.8, so I'm much more attracted to the strong academic types than to dumb party animals," she said. "What's your G.P.A.?"
Grinning from ear to ear, the jock boasted, "I get about 25 in the city and 40 on the highway."
A man walked into a flower shop and after looking around for several minutes, asked the clerk if there were any potted geraniums he could buy.
"I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop,
"We don't have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?"
Replied the customer sadly,
"No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."
Mother's Day is this Sunday, so if you are going to buy your mom a present leave some time for shopping. After all, as the newest picture on the Cybersalt Site reminds us, she certainly spent a lot of time shopping for you! Check out "Enough Shopping" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/enough-shopping
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents.
At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs, "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE. I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO. I PRAY FOR A NEW PVR..."
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."
To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.
Khakis (n.): what you need to start the car in Boston.
To my children: Never make fun of having to help me with computer stuff. I taught you how to use a spoon.
- Sue Fitzmaurice
My mother's friend joined Weight Watchers, and the other day when she was getting ready to go to the weekly meeting her little grandson asked her where she was going. She said she was going to her fat club.
When she got back home her grandson said, "Well Grandma, are you fat yet?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Thanks to Sarah Joy Visser for permission to use this picture!
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
