Me: "When I have alphabet soup, I only eat the vowels."
Wife: "Why?"
Me: "Sometimes"
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Things are starting to settle into a summer routine here at Cybersalt World Headquarters. There's plenty to keep me busy at the desk catching up on work — and just as many chances to step away for a backyard cookout, a trip to the beach, or whatever else the season brings to the front porch. We're only three days out from the longest day of the year, and after that the sun starts its slow walk back the other way. I'm going to make a conscious effort to enjoy it while it's here.
Today's video share is a reminder of just how complicated international relationships between countries can be. The fallenness of mankind, and the hatred we hold toward those who are different than us, takes a real cost. Let's just say I wouldn't want to stay on this ship overnight.
Click Here To Watch
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
A hilarious list of comments taken directly from employee reviews.
"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
"Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
"This person had delusions of adequacy."
"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
"I would not allow this employee to breed."
"This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."
"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."
"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."
"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."
"A room temperature IQ."
"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
"A prime candidate for natural deselection."
"One-cell organisms outscore him in IQ tests."
"Fell out of the family tree."
"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
"Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
After 50 you're like an old phone battery; even when you charge yourself overnight for 10 hours, by 10am you're at 60%.
What do you call a beehive without an exit?
Unbelievable.
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month!
- Theodore Roosevelt
Some songs don't just lead you into worship — they lead you into examination. "The Word of God Is Alive and Active," drawn from Hebrews 4:12–13, is one of them.
It is a musical declaration that God's Word cuts through pretense, sees past performance, and reaches the very core of who we are. Short in length, but heavy in truth.
Just for Today ...
.. smile at a stranger
.. listen to someone's heart
.. drop a coin where a child can find it
.. learn something new, then teach it to someone
.. tell someone you're thinking of them
.. hug a loved one
.. don't hold a grudge
.. don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry"
.. look a child in the eye and tell them how great they are
.. don't kill that spider in your house, he's just lost so show him the way out
.. look beyond the face of a person into their heart
.. make a promise, and keep it
.. call someone, for no other reason than to just say "Hi"
.. show kindness to an animal
.. stand up for what you believe in
.. smell the rain, feel the breeze, listen to the wind
.. use all your senses to their fullest
Cherish all your TODAYS
~ Author Unknown
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
I awoke on the morning of my birthday with thoughts of a brand-new day before me, one that was filled with special adventures.
I lay in bed, thinking about the blessings God had poured into my life, before reading my morning devotional. I have been “surprised with joy” at a stage in my life where I wasn’t looking for momentous changes.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
A hilarious list of comments taken directly from employee reviews.
"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
"Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
"This person had delusions of adequacy."
"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
"I would not allow this employee to breed."
"This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."
"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."
"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."
"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."
"A room temperature IQ."
"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
"A prime candidate for natural deselection."
"One-cell organisms outscore him in IQ tests."
"Fell out of the family tree."
"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
"Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
After 50 you're like an old phone battery; even when you charge yourself overnight for 10 hours, by 10am you're at 60%.
What do you call a beehive without an exit?
Unbelievable.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
