I had a job selling security alarms door to door and I was really good at it. If no one was home I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.
I dropped a can of Thanksgiving fruit on top of my bare foot. Now I cranberry walk.
And after all is said and done...the kitchen cleaned up, the football game is over, the kids have FINALLY gone to bed and you lie quietly thinking about your day... your tummy starts to rumble...
Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep;
The leftovers beckoned --- The dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation...
The thought of a snack became infatuation...
So I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door,
And gazed at the fridge full of goodies galore.
A Police officer pulls over a speeding car. The Officer says, "I clocked you at 80 mph sir."
The driver says, "But officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly, "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My Biggest Surprise."
Not until the end of the school year did we see Marina's work.
It read: "I got up this morning and I ran into Mommy and Daddy's bed and hopped in. But it wasn't Mommy at all. It was Mrs. Del Campo!"
What her essay neglected to say was was the very important detail that we had called Mrs. Del Campo late at night to stay with our children while I took my wife to the hospital to have our third child.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
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We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
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Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
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Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!Â
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!Â
