A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter's very swollen abdomen.
It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Gimme a break, lady! Your daughter is pregnant!"
Politicians have a constant need to be diplomatic. Witness this candidate for the Senate who traveled to a small town community to address the single church there. Unfortunately, he had forgotten to ask which denomination so that when it was time for his speech, he inquired in this way:
My brethren, all. I must tell you that my great Grandfather was Presbyterian (absolute silence); but my Grandmother was an Episcopalian (more silence); I must tell you that my other Grandfather was a Catholic (deep silence); while my other Grandmother was Methodist (continued silence).
But I must tell you that I had an aunt who was a Baptist (loud cheers!) ...and I have always considered my aunt's path to be the right one!"
Scientists recently combined the DNA of a cheetah and a crab. Things went sideways real fast!
If a friend ever says they have a chocolate lab, do not get your hopes up when you are going to their house because they are just talking about a dog.
Greetings everyone!
I got to spend Friday night at my son's birthday party, and it was one of those evenings that just made me smile the whole way through. He had a bunch of his friends over — guys from his church — and we played Stock Ticker. It's an old board game that came out after the Depression, and it's been a family favourite for a couple of generations now.
But here's what got me — he'd programmed it so you can play online. Everyone follows along on their phones and makes their own individual trades. The work he put into that setup was something to see. What made me proudest wasn't just the coding, though — it was watching him enjoy the fact that his friends were enjoying themselves. He's a stand-up guy, and I couldn't be more proud of him.
Today's video share puts things in serious perspective for anyone who thinks the speed of sound is really fast.
Click Here To Watch
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
Politicians have a constant need to be diplomatic. Witness this candidate for the Senate who traveled to a small town community to address the single church there. Unfortunately, he had forgotten to ask which denomination so that when it was time for his speech, he inquired in this way:
My brethren, all. I must tell you that my great Grandfather was Presbyterian (absolute silence); but my Grandmother was an Episcopalian (more silence); I must tell you that my other Grandfather was a Catholic (deep silence); while my other Grandmother was Methodist (continued silence).
But I must tell you that I had an aunt who was a Baptist (loud cheers!) ...and I have always considered my aunt's path to be the right one!"
If a friend ever says they have a chocolate lab, do not get your hopes up when you are going to their house because they are just talking about a dog.
Scientists recently combined the DNA of a cheetah and a crab. Things went sideways real fast!
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”
- Joan Rivers
The featured guest on our local radio talk show was a woman who owned a home-cleaning service.
After she described what her clients could expect, the program's telephone lines were opened to the audience.
The first caller struck to the heart of every woman who had ever contemplated employing such a service.
Her question: "How much cleaning do I have to do before your people come?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
When I think I've turned a page to a new chapter in my life, I realize there is nothing new in life. I'm referring to pain. I cannot remember a time in my life when I didn't have some pain.
In the years of my naivety, I never imagined that when I got older, I would experience more pain. Nevertheless, pain has become my daily friend.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
