I was driving past a cemetery this morning and saw a man walking around.
I shouted, "Morning!"
He replied, "No, just walking the dogs."
I've taken so many "before" photos when starting new diets that now I just have a slideshow of myself getting fatter.
Beware of companies with these hiring slogans because of what these slogans actually mean:
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" - We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE" - We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED" - You'll be six months behind on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED" - Some each night and some each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY" - Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" - We have no quality control.
Greetings everyone!
Grandma Cybersalt and I are having a great visit this week with our friends Rob and Shelly — friends from our college days. There's something wonderful about the kind of friendship where you can just pick right up exactly where you left off, whether the last time you saw each other was last week or a good number of years ago. We've been having so many good times together, and I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.
Today's video share is from Ukraine's Virsky Ensemble — and just when I thought I was getting the flexibility back in my arm and shoulder, I watched this and realized I've got a ways to go!
Click Here To Watch
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
Beware of companies with these hiring slogans because of what these slogans actually mean:
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" - We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE" - We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED" - You'll be six months behind on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED" - Some each night and some each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY" - Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" - We have no quality control.
I've take so many "before" photos when starting new diets that now I just have a slideshow of myself getting fatter.
I was driving past a cemetery this morning and saw a man walking around.
I shouted, "Morning!"
He replied, "No, just walking the dogs."
"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure."
- unknown
A couple was arranging for their wedding, and asked the bakery to inscribe the wedding cake with "1 John 4:18" which reads "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear."
The bakery evidently lost, smudged or otherwise misread the noted reference, and beautifully inscribed on the cake "John 4:18":
"For you have had five husbands, and the man you have now is not your husband."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
After several months of mayhem in our house, things began to quiet down. It was beginning to get back to our normal way of life.
Of course, because of the mayhem, many things that needed to be done did not get done. That made The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage jump in line to try to catch up with everything around the house. If there's one thing undone, she cannot sit down.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
In local Cybersalt news, there has been talk for a while now about putting a dog park in the empty grassy field next to Cybersalt World Headquarters, and last night while I was online I saw a picture of the plans on Facebook. My neighbourhood is officially going to the dogs.
Susan and I have lived next to that empty lot for all 30 years we have been here. At first it was forested, and then the gravel pit company that owned the land wanted to take out more gravel, so they logged it. What was left turned into a really nice grassland area — and it was fun to watch the little critters, especially the birds, change as the environment changed around them.
Part of me would have preferred the field stay empty and natural the way it has been. But I have lived in community with people for many, many years and I get it — a lot of my neighbours and fellow citizens are going to really enjoy that space. So good for them.
Today's video share is an oldie but a goodie — one of the earlier viral videos of the Internet. I apologize in advance, especially if you end up singing this song in your head for the rest of the day.
Click Here To Watch
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
A young vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood and perched himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Before long, all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He was tired and needing a rest, so he told them to please leave him alone. However, it was clear that he wasn't going to get any sleep until he satisfied their curiosity.
"OK!" he said with exasperation, "Follow me." And he flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats following close behind him.
Down through the valley they went, across the river and into the deep forest. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly gathered around him.
"Do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good," said the first bat, "Because I DIDN'T!"
We're really out here living the most difficult section of someone's 2060 history exam.
Eating too much cake would be the sin of gluttony. However, eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero.
"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us."
- Joseph Campbell
As a nightclub owner, I hired a pianist and a drummer to entertain my customers.
After several performances, I discovered that the drummer had walked away with some of my valuables. I notified the police and he was arrested.
Desperate for another drummer, I called a friend who knew some musicians.
"What happened to the drummer you had?" he asked me.
"I had him arrested," I replied.
We said good-bye and hung up.
A few minutes later my friend called back and asked, "How badly did he play?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
“Waste not, want not,” asks everyone to pay attention to what they “waste” as that waste might lead to “want.”
Living outside one of our local conservation parks for twenty-five years has been a treasure, one that I deeply value. I have logged thousands of kilometres either on foot or by bicycle and have taken thousands of photographs of the beauty waiting to be unwrapped.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
