It's so annoying when people use the wrong word & don't have the humidity to admit it.
Two entrepreneurs, Jack and John, decided to start a bungee-jumping business south of the border. They went to Casa del Sol, Mexico, built a huge platform, and opened for business. By noon the first day, they both noticed that while everyone was watching, no one was buying tickets.
Jack told John to go up and jump, so everyone could see how much fun it was, and then they would buy tickets and try it.
John jumped, almost reached the ground, and sprang back up. Jack saw that his shirt was torn and his hair was mussed. John came down again and sprang back up. This time he had several bruises and his clothes were ripped to shreds. The third time down and back up, and he had several open wounds, a broken arm, and was bruised over most of his body.
Jack quickly raised John to the platform and asked him what in the world was going on.
John replied, "I'm not sure. Do you know what 'piñata' means?"
After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers.
"I'm busy," he said, "I'll do the next one."
The next time came around and she asked again.
The husband looked puzzled, "Oh! I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!"
A photographer was injured when a huge chunk of cheddar fell on him.
All the people in the picture were trying to warn him!
Sunday greetings everyone, and Happy Father's Day to those who celebrate it.
Grandma Cybersalt and I traveled up island last Friday to watch one of our grandsons play baseball — and when I say "baseball," I mean the kind where the players are somewhere between the ages of 8 and 10 and "Little League" would be a generous upgrade. Pulling up to the little neighbourhood ballpark, I was thrilled to find a parking spot right on the street, just beside the diamond. We met up with our daughter-in-law and two granddaughters to watch their brother take the field, and a couple of innings in, the batter hit a foul ball that sailed way high over the fence. While everyone was hollering at people to watch out, Susan and I watched it come down with a big clunk right on the hood of our car.
Everybody had a good laugh — and I had to laugh too, because in that one moment I realized I had become the guy. I was the grandfather at the baseball game whose car got hit by the foul ball. It was like I'd stepped out of a time machine. There's a little dent in the hood now, but at 160,000 miles she's still in great shape, and it wasn't worth getting upset about. Everybody had a wonderful time hearing my car get hit, and I had just as much fun hearing them talk about it afterwards — none the wiser that the car was mine. You could call it a true Grandpa Cybersalt moment.
Today's video share is an artisan creation so detailed and intricate it looks like it came from another time — and maybe even another world. I doubt anyone is getting a Father's Day gift this sophisticated, but the tracking of every single stone is a treat to watch.
Click Here To Watch
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
While the family was sitting around the dinner table, Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother Andy, 3, and pointed to her dad.
"That's not your real father," she said, startling the whole family.
"Yes, he is!" Andy replied.
"No, he's not," Jennifer insisted. "God is your heavenly father."
Then pointing at her dad, she said, "That's your homely father!"
My wife said: "That's the 4th time you've gone back for dessert! Doesn't it embarrass you?"
I said: "No. I keep telling them it's for you."
Me: "When I have alphabet soup, I only eat the vowels."
Wife: "Why?"
Me: "Sometimes"
"Prayer is the vital breath of Christians; not the thing that makes us alive, but the evidence that we are alive."
- Oswald Chambers, Prayer - A Holy Occupation
Some songs don't just lead you into worship — they lead you into examination. "The Word of God Is Alive and Active," drawn from Hebrews 4:12–13, is one of them.
It is a musical declaration that God's Word cuts through pretense, sees past performance, and reaches the very core of who we are. Short in length, but heavy in truth.
A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store with him. In addition to the healthy items on the carefully prepared shopping list, they returned with a box of sugar-laden cookies.
The man noticed the glare of his wife and said, "This box of cookies has one-third fewer calories than usual."
"Why is that?" the mother asked.
"We ate a third of the cookies on the way home," he replied.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
For many years, even before I became a pastor, Sunday was always a very special day. I lived in a rural community in Pennsylvania where they had what they called the "Blue Laws." No business was open on a Sunday, but churches were full.
In those days, Sunday was focused on church, gathering as a congregation, and worshiping the Lord.
Then came Monday.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
