If a friend ever says they have a chocolate lab, do not get your hopes up when you are going to their house because they are just talking about a dog.
Greetings everyone!
I got to spend Friday night at my son's birthday party, and it was one of those evenings that just made me smile the whole way through. He had a bunch of his friends over — guys from his church — and we played Stock Ticker. It's an old board game that came out after the Depression, and it's been a family favourite for a couple of generations now.
But here's what got me — he'd programmed it so you can play online. Everyone follows along on their phones and makes their own individual trades. The work he put into that setup was something to see. What made me proudest wasn't just the coding, though — it was watching him enjoy the fact that his friends were enjoying themselves. He's a stand-up guy, and I couldn't be more proud of him.
Today's video share puts things in serious perspective for anyone who thinks the speed of sound is really fast.
Click Here To Watch
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
Politicians have a constant need to be diplomatic. Witness this candidate for the Senate who traveled to a small town community to address the single church there. Unfortunately, he had forgotten to ask which denomination so that when it was time for his speech, he inquired in this way:
My brethren, all. I must tell you that my great Grandfather was Presbyterian (absolute silence); but my Grandmother was an Episcopalian (more silence); I must tell you that my other Grandfather was a Catholic (deep silence); while my other Grandmother was Methodist (continued silence).
But I must tell you that I had an aunt who was a Baptist (loud cheers!) ...and I have always considered my aunt's path to be the right one!"
If a friend ever says they have a chocolate lab, do not get your hopes up when you are going to their house because they are just talking about a dog.
Scientists recently combined the DNA of a cheetah and a crab. Things went sideways real fast!
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”
- Joan Rivers
The featured guest on our local radio talk show was a woman who owned a home-cleaning service.
After she described what her clients could expect, the program's telephone lines were opened to the audience.
The first caller struck to the heart of every woman who had ever contemplated employing such a service.
Her question: "How much cleaning do I have to do before your people come?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
When I think I've turned a page to a new chapter in my life, I realize there is nothing new in life. I'm referring to pain. I cannot remember a time in my life when I didn't have some pain.
In the years of my naivety, I never imagined that when I got older, I would experience more pain. Nevertheless, pain has become my daily friend.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Yesterday was Canada Day here at Cybersalt World Headquarters — and I guess right across Canada too. So a belated happy birthday to all my fellow Canadians! And this Saturday is July the 4th in the USA, celebrating a big number — 250 years. Happy 4th of July to all my US friends and cousins.
Today's share is a fun little website that lets you punch in your birthday and see what the Hubble Space Telescope was looking at on that day. The picture above was taken on a November 4th — I don't know which November 4th, but a November 4th, and that's good enough for me.
Click Here To See Yours
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
In the smoking-car the conversation turned to the merits and demerits of various ways of preserving health.
One stout, florid man held forth with great eloquence on the subject.
"Look at me!" he said. "Never a day's sickness in my life, and all due to simple food. Why, gentlemen," he continued, "from the age of twenty to that of forty I lived an absolutely simple regular life - no effeminate delicacies, no late hours, no extravagances. Every day, in fact, summer and winter, I was in bed regularly at nine o'clock and up again at five in the morning. I worked from eight to one, then had dinner - a plain dinner, mark my words: after that, an hour's exercise; then--"
"Excuse me, sir," interrupted the facetious stranger in the corner, "but what were you in jail for?"
I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart when they've never even seen one of his paintings.
What kind of noise does a train make?
A low commotion.
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.”
- Dorothy Parker
Judi strolled up to a guest at the party. She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said coyly, "Doctor, may I ask a question?"
"Certainly," he said.
"Lately," said Judi, "I have been having a funny pain right here under the heart . . ."
The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, "I'm terribly sorry, Judi, but I'm a doctor of philosophy."
"Oooh," she said, "I'm sorry!"
She turned away, but then overcome with curiosity, she turned back. "Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind of disease is 'philosophy'?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
The older I get, the stronger my desire to spend time with the Lord grows, yet the days seem to pass so swiftly. The problem is not finding time to slow down; rather, it is how to quiet my thoughts and still my soul. I must choose to deliberately shut out all the noise that distracts me from spending quality time with my Lord. I must choose the better, as Mary did, when she sat at the feet of Jesus (Luke 10: 41-42).
Yet even amid the bustle of the day, God speaks.
I see and hear from God in the ordinary, and the ordinary often becomes spectacular.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
What kind of noise does a train make?
A low commotion.
In the smoking-car the conversation turned to the merits and demerits of various ways of preserving health.
One stout, florid man held forth with great eloquence on the subject.
"Look at me!" he said. "Never a day's sickness in my life, and all due to simple food. Why, gentlemen," he continued, "from the age of twenty to that of forty I lived an absolutely simple regular life - no effeminate delicacies, no late hours, no extravagances. Every day, in fact, summer and winter, I was in bed regularly at nine o'clock and up again at five in the morning. I worked from eight to one, then had dinner - a plain dinner, mark my words: after that, an hour's exercise; then--"
"Excuse me, sir," interrupted the facetious stranger in the corner, "but what were you in jail for?"
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
