When I was a kid, bedtime was 9pm and I couldn't wait to be a grownup so I could go to bed any time I wanted ... turns out that's 9pm.
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For all their lives, my three sons have been told they have to do their chores around the house.
"I am NOT the maid" is a phrase they've heard many times.
When my oldest went off to college, he called me after one week at school. Among the first words he heard at college, he reported, were those of the dormitory maid, announcing to a student who had not picked up after himself in the men's lavatory,
"I am NOT your mother!"
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I finally understand why I'm called a grown up. I groan every time I get up.
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At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage.
"Look," she said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other."
"You're wrong," the young man declared.
"For the past 5 years I've been working in the bank where your father has his account."
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I went for a run but came back after 2 minutes because I forgot something; I forgot I'm out of shape and can't run for more than 2 minutes.
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