In my career as a lumberjack, I have chopped down exactly 85,696 trees.
I know that, because I kept a log.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Grandma Cybersalt and I had such a good time these past few days. A couple of friends from college flew in last Thursday and headed home Tuesday morning, and we packed every day full of catching up — we’ve known this couple almost 40 years now. We got to show them some of our favourite spots around southern Vancouver Island, and one of the highlights was an excursion out whale watching where we saw humpbacks feeding right at the surface. But honestly, what I’ll remember most is the games and the visiting and the carrying on around the kitchen table. I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard.
Today’s video share is a little different from the usual. I make a lot of videos on my YouTube channel teaching people how to make web pages, but every now and then someone wants to make a video with me — which is what happened a couple of weeks ago when Alan James interviewed me for about two hours. We talked about web pages, artificial intelligence, and a whole lot of things in between. If any of that interests you, you might want to give it a watch. And if it doesn’t... well, put it on quietly when you’re trying to fall asleep tonight, and I’m sure it’ll serve a purpose that way too.
Click Here To Watch
Enjoy the rest of today’s Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.
There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show:
"Look, it's not the same hat."
"Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table."
"Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's parrot.
One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course.
They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and another and another.
After a week the parrot said: "OK, I give up. Where's the boat?"
My wife is so far out of my league that the cashier put one of those plastic grocery dividers between our stuff like we weren't even together.
I laid in bed last night to read the dictionary, but I didn't finish it.
I got up to P.
"Reality continues to ruin my life."
- Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
The following caption was found written on a gravestone...
"As I am now, you soon shall be,
So be content to follow me."
Then someone taped the following note on that gravestone...
"To follow you I'm not content,
Until I know which way you went!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
I love music, not all genres, although my preferences are quite varied, which is surprising considering the sheltered environment I grew up in.
You see, I was raised in The Salvation Army, which means I played a brass instrument, generally, the tenor horn, although I could play the cornet, baritone or euphonium. I also played the tambourine, a common instrument used in Salvation Army rhythm brigades or played in church during a good rousing Sunday evening sing-along. However, this was about the only music I was exposed to besides the shows my parents watched. They liked Lawrence Welk, The Glen Campbell Goodtime Hour, Don Messer’s Jubilee, and Anne Murray television specials. My father especially enjoyed Johnny Cash's music.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.
There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show:
"Look, it's not the same hat."
"Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table."
"Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's parrot.
My wife is so far out of my league that the cashier put one of those plastic grocery dividers between our stuff like we weren't even together.
I laid in bed last night to read the dictionary, but I didn't finish it.
I got up to P.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
