I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else. Whereas the other guys would only catch three or four fish a day, Sam would come in from the lake with a boat full of fish. Stringer after stringer was packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe.
So the next morning, the two met at the dock and took off in Sam's boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done.
On their way to get married, a young couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The two found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates, waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left.
The couple sat and waited for an answer for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed that IF they were allowed to get married in Heaven, SHOULD they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered. "Are we stuck together forever?"
Sunday greetings everyone!
Grandma Cybersalt and I had a busy but full day yesterday. We spent it at our church for some theology teaching and reflection with a visiting doctor from McMaster University. In the middle of all that, we snuck out to attend the wedding of a wonderful young couple from our church — a beautiful ceremony, and a lot of fun. Then it was back to church for the rest of the afternoon's teaching, out for supper, and on to the wedding reception... which was held in a local aquarium of all places. I wasn't sure what to expect, but it worked really well.
Today's video share is another Titanic-related find. I hope you aren't tired of me sharing these — I just found this one really moving. I'm a big fan of drones, and seeing them used this way to create such a powerful moment of reflection was something else.
Click Here To Watch
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 2026 Turbo Z123DX. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $3,000,000. He takes it out for a spin, and, while doing so, stops for a red light.
An elderly man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"
The young many replies, "A 2026 Turbo Z123DX. They cost $3,000,000."
"That's a lot of money!" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.
The moped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside?"
"Sure," replies the owner.
So, the old man leans up against the car, pokes his head in the window, and looks around. Then, leaning back on his moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right."
Just then, the light changes, so the young man decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320 mph.
Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down a little to see what it could be, and suddenly, whhooossshhh! Something whips by him, going much faster!
"What on earth could be going faster than my Turbo Z123DX?" the young man asks himself.
Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him. Whooosshh! It goes by again! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped!
"Couldn't be," thinks the guy. "How could a moped outrun a Turbo Z123DX?"
Again, he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whooosh, Ka-Bbblaamm! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end.
The young man stops the car, jumps out, and it's the old man!! Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. He runs up to the moaning old man and says, "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man groans and replies, "Yes. Unhook my suspenders from your side-view mirror!"
Me: What could possibly go wrong?"
Anxiety: "Sit down; I made a PowerPoint."
My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday. He said maybe they'll marry each other.
Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age.
"You can't help what you feel, but you can help how you behave."
- Margaret Atwood
A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.
Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."
"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "these puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."
The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. "I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"
"Sure," said the farmer.
And with that he let out a whistle, "Here,Dolly!" he called. Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.
The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight.
As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse. Slowly another little ball appeared; this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up...."I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt.
The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."
With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.
Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."
The world is full of people who need someone who understands.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
After being married for over 50 years, I have concluded the secret of a happy marriage is a happy wife. What it takes to make her happy is worth all the effort.
Today, most marriages don't work. Divorce is on the rise in our country.
A great philosopher, Groucho Marx, once said, "Marriage is the chief cause of divorce."
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday. He said maybe they'll marry each other.
Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
