Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

This weeks news is longer than I usually like it to be, but last Sunday I said that today I would reveal the secret of the 52.19 trillion tally and it requires a few more paragraphs than usual.. Here we go, lol, hang in there with me!

Cybersaltine, Mark R., contacted me a couple of weeks ago and offered me trillions of dollars in Zimbabwean currency to help Cybersalt's ministry to persecuted Christians. At first I kind of thought if he pulled my other leg it would play Jingle Bells, but after a bit of back and forth I learned some things and I saw the fun and novelty of his idea for this "Be a Billionaire" fundraiser.

What I learned was that in 2008 the inflation rate in Zimbabwe was 79,600,000,000 percent. Yes you read that correctly - 79.6 billion percent! In the midst of that economic environment the Zimbabwean government issued paper currency in denominations of billions and trillions. However, those soon became worthless and were abandoned. To this day Zimbabwe does not have a national currency. A curious thing happened though: people started collecting these crazy bills as collector and/or novelty items. And that is how I have come to have over 52 trillion worthless dollars sitting next to me as I type this.

So here is how this "Be a Billionaire" fundraiser works. In return for a donation that will go to help persecuted Christians around the world, you'll be sent an actual, general circulation, novelty Zimbabwean bill. What a great gift to get for someone who has everything - except billions! You can order multiple bills of different denominations if you like. So far I only have individual, non-sequential serial numbered bills set up in the store. In the next few days I'll also be adding some of the bills that do have sequential serials numbers and make up sets - or you can email me if you are looking for something a bit more novel like that. To see pictures of this funny money, head on over to the store at:
www.cybersalt.org/inspiration/be-a-billionaire-fund-raiser

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! 

~ Pastor Tim

Calls to Information Assistance

Just a few decades ago, before the days of Google and online information, people would call an operator to get a phone number they needed. Often these phone calls resulted in funny conversations as people tried to explain what they needed or who they were trying to get in touch with.

Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please.
Operator: I'm sorry, there's no such listing. Are you sure you have the spelling correct?
Caller: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off.

Caller: I'd like the number of the Scottish knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: I can't find a town called 'Woven'? Are you sure?
Caller: Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland.

Caller: I'd like the RSPCA, please.
Operator: Where are you calling from?
Caller: The living room.

Caller: The water board, please.
Operator: Which department?
Caller: Tap water

Operator: How are you spelling that?
Caller: With letters.

Caller: I'd like the number for a Reverend in Cardiff, please.
Operator: Do you have his name?
Caller: No, but he has a dog named Ben.

Caller: The Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators, please.
Operator: You mean the Amalgamated Union of Shopkeepers?
Caller: Yes.

One-liner #1303

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

All Choked Up

The inventor of throat lozenges has died.

There'll be no coffin at his funeral.

Quote #1744

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

- Theodore Roosevelt

Today's Illustration

Eye Glass Confessions

As the three ladies picked up a menu, each put on a pair of glasses.

"I really only need mine for close reading," explained the first.

Remarked the second, "I only use mine when the light is bad."

The third confessed, "I rarely wear mine - except when I want to see."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Church Feud (My apologies to those whose church is like this)

Church feuds are not uncommon, especially among cliques in the congregation. But when the pastor and choir director get into it, stand aside.

One week our preacher preached on commitment, and how we should dedicate ourselves to service. The director then led the choir in singing, 'I Shall Not Be Moved.'

The next Sunday, the preacher preached on giving and how we should gladly give to the work of the Lord. The choir director then led the song, 'Jesus Paid It All.'

The next Sunday, the preacher preached on gossiping and how we should watch our tongues. The hymn was 'I Love To Tell The Story.'

The preacher became disgusted over the situation, and the next Sunday he told the congregation he was considering resigning. The choir then sang 'Oh, Why Not Tonight.'

When the preacher resigned the next week, he told the church that Jesus had led him there and Jesus was taking him away. The choir then sang, 'What A Friend We Have in Jesus.'

The inventor of throat lozenges has died.

There'll be no coffin at his funeral.

Just a few decades ago, before the days of Google and online information, people would call an operator to get a phone number they needed. Often these phone calls resulted in funny conversations as people tried to explain what they needed or who they were trying to get in touch with.

Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please.
Operator: I'm sorry, there's no such listing. Are you sure you have the spelling correct?
Caller: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off.

Caller: I'd like the number of the Scottish knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: I can't find a town called 'Woven'? Are you sure?
Caller: Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland.