St. Peter becomes aware of a man standing outside the Gates of Heaven, pacing up and down. "Excuse me, can I help you?" he asks.
"No, it's all right. It won't be long" and he distractedly looks at his watch, shrugs and paces on.
St. Peter gives it another 5 minutes and asks again.
The man stops and says, "Look, you know I'm dead. I know I'm dead. Will someone please tell the cardiac arrest team?"
Some racehorses are staying in a stable.
One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 16 races, I've won 8 of them!"
Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 20!!"
"Oh that's good, but in the last 37 races, I've won 29!" says another, flicking his tail.
At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening.
"I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 91 races, I've won 89!"
The horses are clearly amazed.
"Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence.
"A talking dog."
The Pentagon recently unveiled its new super computer to the top brass. This fantastic device, capable of making bazillions of decisions in split nanoseconds, is designed to solve all military problems with the greatest of ease.
To test its capabilities, the brass poses a tactical problem to it and then asks for a decision, "Attack or retreat?"
The computer hums a bit, blinks a myriad of lights and answers, "Yes."
The brass, somewhat confused by this answer, replies, "Yes what?"
The computer instantly replies, "Yes, SIR!"
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
