Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Thanks to subscriber M. Robertson who shared a chicken picture with me this week. I've added it to the Funny Pictures area of the Cybersalt site at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/chicken-valley
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Car Ads
If the car ad claims these items, it really means:
- rough condition = too bad to lie about
- parts car = beyond repair
- immaculate = recently washed
- engine quiet = if you use 90-weight oil
- needs minor overhaul = needs an engine
- needs major overhaul = phone the junkyard
- burns no oil = it all leaks out
- rebuilt engine = cleaned the spark plugs
- drive it away = I live on a hill
- drive it anywhere = within 10 miles
- desirable classic = no one wants it
- rare classic = no one wanted it even when it was new
- stored 20 years = in a farmer's field
- ran when stored = won't start
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1321
I didn't hear that!
Here's a handy gadget to have in the event of extended power outages or when travelling.
Keep this plugged in and charged up so you can recharge your phone 3 or 4 times while you wait for things to be restored.
In the event of even longer outages the solar panel will slowly give you emergency power too. (The solar panel is not the main method of charging this.)
Today's Clean Pun
Font Off
Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says,
"We don't serve your type here!"
Today's Quote
Quote #1762
"Every generation of Christians has to learn that whining is an affront against God's sovereignty and goodness."
- D. A. Carson
Today's Illustration
Foolishness
The two teenagers were arrested for disorderly conduct. The police sergeant told them they were entitled to a phone call. Sometime later a man entered the station and asked for them by name.
The sergeant said, "I suppose you're the lawyer?"
"Nope," the chap replied. "I'm just here to deliver their pizza."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
When the power mower broke and wouldn't run, I kept hinting to my husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the 'message' never sank in. Finally, I thought of a clever way to make my point.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 