(This joke applies to a time long ago, but just go with it. Some things never change!)
After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, in-cognizant user called the system maker's technical support line for assistance...
Technician: Hello. How can I help you today?
Customer: There's smoke coming from the power supply on my computer...
One day a man went to an auction.
While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.
Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last!
Issue #4397
Sunday greetings everyone!
It looks like email delivery is returning to normal so hopefully you get this on Sunday (Left Coast of Canada time!)
More than ever, the families that Cybersalt supports through the Body of Christ Connection are depending on us for the financial support that helps them remain a bit safer in dangerous times. Cybersaltine Mark. R. (the brain behind the Be A Billionaire Fundraiser) had another great suggestion: create a way to let people give every month. If you are interested in that you can click on the following link (don't forget to say which worthless Zimbabwean bill you want!) It would certainly help stabilize support for our families.
www.cybersalt.org/booc-recurring
And, of course, you can still make a one time donation and pick out a Z bill at:
www.cybersalt.org/inspiration/be-a-billionaire-fund-raiser
Finally, with today's mailing we catch up with devotional musings by Rev. James Snyder. Here are two more links:
Home Has Never Been Sweeter
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/home-has-never-been-sweeter
and
I'm Dreaming of a Commercial Free World
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/i-m-dreaming-of-a-commercial-free-world
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
1. Eventually, you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
2. Don't let anyone tell you that you're getting old. Squash their toes with your rocker.
3. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
4. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
5. Maturity means being emotionally and mentally healthy. It is that time when you know when to say yes and when to say no, and when to say WHOOPEE!
6. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
7. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
8. I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
9. The golden years are really just metallic years, gold in the tooth, silver in your hair, and lead in the seat.
10. Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.
11. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
12. Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It is more often a succession of jerks.
13. Yeah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
14. Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled, and blind they don't recognize you.
15. If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
I just invented a new dish. I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup.
I call it "Letter Rip!"
"I hate when people refer to faith in Jesus as a crutch. Nope! A crutch is for a limp.
I was dead and needed a resurrection."
- Louie Giglio
Today's Illustration
I have worked for many years with the hearing impaired and on a visit to the library, I happened to notice a man and a woman, both deaf, signing with intense gestures, apparently in a heated debate.
The man said something, and the woman seemed upset. She started signing her reply very fast, to the point where the man couldn't understand a word. That was when she started signing in big, wide gestures.
Finally, looking strained, her companion took her hands, "silencing" her.
Then he signed, very small and slowly, "You don't have to shout, I'm not blind."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
1. Eventually, you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
2. Don't let anyone tell you that you're getting old. Squash their toes with your rocker.
3. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
4. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
I just invented a new dish. I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup.
I call it "Letter Rip!"
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
