Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning - or possibly just a very hairy guy; either way, the silver bullets worked.

A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"

The lumberjack grinned and said, "And you will dialogue."

Cybersalt News

Suddenly September, Sunday greetings!

Rev. James Snyder and his wife disagree about vegetables, but they are staying together just the same. "How to Live with a Veggie-Holic" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/how-to-live-with-a-veggie-holic

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

Yale Educated

(Wondering what a goober is? You can see one here.)

The bank manager noticed the new clerk was a goober at counting money and adding up figures.

"Where did you get your financial education?" he asked.

"Yale," replied the lad.

"And what's your name?" barked the manager.

"Yim Yohnston," he replied.

One-liner #1314

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!

Self Medic

Near the end of my operation, I suddenly woke up and demanded the right to close my incision.

Reluctantly, the surgeon handed me the needle and said,

"Suture self."

Quote #1755

"Texting is a brilliant way to miscommunicate how you feel, and misinterpret what other people mean."

- Unknown

Today's Illustration

Procrastinator's Creed

You may wish to delay reading this until you have more free time.

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

7. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

8. I shall always decide not to decide unless of course, I decide to change my mind.

9. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

10. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Near the end of my operation, I suddenly woke up and demanded the right to close my incision.

Reluctantly, the surgeon handed me the needle and said,

"Suture self."