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Entertainment

One-liner #1313

woman old3He doesn't have much of a reputation, or so I've heard.

  • One-liners
  • Logic One-liners
  • Relationship One-liners
  • Communication Jokes

Foggy

rock fluoriteThe meaning of opaque is unclear.

  • Clean Puns
  • Vision Puns
  • Science One-liners
  • Word One-liners

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4383 - August 26, 2018

  Issue #4383     The Cybersalt Digest

 

   
               

Cybersalt News

horseshoeOh look, Chicken Thursday!

So far, the Be a Billionaire fund raiser has helped 2 persecuted families with rent, food, and some other key expenses in August. Oh yeah, it has also made 15 new "billionaires" and one "trillionaire" too, lol. With school going back soon and a new month upon us, why not send your kids or grandkids back with a few billion dollars and at the same time help some refugees with the financial needs they cannot earn for their family's basic needs?
https://www.cybersalt.org/inspiration/be-a-billionaire-fund-raiser

This week, Rev. James Snyder went for a pedicure instead of to the foot doctor and not unexpectedly, laughter ensued. You can read, "Laughter in Any Other Language Is Just Not Funny" at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/laughter-in-any-other-language-is-just-not-funny

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

     



Today's CleanLaugh

Mummy Shock

desert negevAn archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a sarcophagus containing a mummy.

After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum.

"I've just discovered the 3,000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.

The curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out."

A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist.

"You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?"

"Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, '10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."



Today's One Liner

One-liner #1312

people cheeringCooperation can only be reached if we work together.


bk billy graham angels

“If we had open spiritual eyes we would see not only a world filled with evil spirits and powers―but also powerful angels with drawn swords, set for our defense.”

―Billy Graham

Available in hardback, paperback, audio, and Kindle - Click Here.



Today's Clean Pun

Shocking

eelI had a dream last night that I knighted an electric fish...

It was Sir Eel.



Today's Quote

Quote #1753

quote 1753

"If you think you've blown God's plan for your life, rest in this: You, my beautiful friend, are not that powerful."

- Lisa Bever


Today's Illustration

A Visit From the Pastor

fireA member of a certain church, who previously had been attending services regularly, suddenly stopped coming to church. After a few weeks, the Pastor went to visit. The Pastor found the man at home alone, sitting before a blazing fire.

Guessing the reason for his Pastor's visit, the man welcomed him, led him to a comfortable chair near the fireplace and waited. The pastor made himself at home but said nothing. In the grave silence, he contemplated the dance of the flames around the burning logs.

After some minutes, the Pastor took the fire tongs, carefully picked up a brightly burning ember and placed it to one side of the hearth all alone. Then he sat back in his chair, still silent. The host watched all this in quiet contemplation. As the one lone ember's flame flickered and diminished, there was a momentary glow and then its fire was no more. Soon it was cold and lifeless.

The Pastor glanced at his watch and realized it was time to leave, he slowly stood up, picked up the cold, dead ember and placed it back in the middle of the fire. Immediately it began to glow, once more with the light and warmth of the burning coals around it.

As the Pastor reached the door to leave, his host said with a tear running down his cheek, "Thank you so much for your visit and especially for the fiery sermon. I shall be back in church next Sunday."

We live in a world today which tries to say too much with too little. Consequently, few listen.

Sometimes the best sermons are the ones lived rather than spoken. What message would God have you share with someone today?

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

     

Shocking

eelI had a dream last night that I knighted an electric fish...

It was Sir Eel.

  • Clean Puns
  • Sleep Jokes
  • Knight Puns
  • Ocean Puns

Mummy Shock

desert negevAn archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a sarcophagus containing a mummy.

After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum.

"I've just discovered the 3,000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.

The curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out."

A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist.

"You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?"

"Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, '10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."

  • Clean Jokes
  • Gambling Jokes
  • Church Jokes
  • Bible Jokes
  1. One-liner #1312
  2. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4382 - August 23, 2018
  3. Six Days In Jail
  4. Wings Away

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4639
 

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4639

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  534

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1986

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4639

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2041

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners! 

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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