Told the doctor I thought I had athlete's foot; he looked at me and said, "I don't think you have athlete's anything."
You need a new car when ...
- You pull over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops behind you.
- You have to go to a repair center every thousand miles to get the duct tape replaced.
- You accidentally drive into a junkyard, drive out, and get accused of stealing.
- The Blue Book lists your car under "Health Risk."
- The only thing holding your bumper on is the "Dukakis/Bentsen '88" sticker.
- You return to your car and find someone broke in and left a hundred dollars and a new stereo.
- Evel Knievel refuses a free lift.
- The valet puts on a crash helmet and full-body armor before parking your car.
- The guys at the repair shop refer you to Dr. Kevorkian.
What does a clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
*Catholic Dictionary*
AMEN:
The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN:
1. Parish information, read only during the homily.
2. Catholic air conditioning.
3. Your receipt for attending Mass.
CHOIR:
A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.
HOLY WATER:
A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
HYMN:
A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
A magician calls a man up on stage, hands him a mallet, and instructs the guy to hit him as hard as possible on the head.
The magician then proceeds to put his head down on a wooden block.
The man shrugs his shoulders and pounds him hard.
Three years later, the magician wakes up from a coma in the hospital and goes .... "Taa-Daa!"
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
