I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
Entertainment
Issue #4426
Cybersalt News
Oh look, a very rare Valentine's Chicken Thursday!
I realize Valentine's Day isn't always an easy day. Whether it is for you or not, give Psalm 91 a read today and try to spot the "chickenish" part that is a comfort to all!
www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+91&version=NIV
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Tips on Love
Tips on Love ... From Those Who Should Know
(All questions were answered by kids, age 5-10)
What is the proper age to get married?
"Eighty-four, because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom."
(Judy, 8)
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife."
(Tom, 5)
What do most people do on a first date?
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."
(Mike, 10)
When is it OK to kiss someone?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own DVD player, 'cause she'll want to have a video of the wedding."
(Jim, 10)
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours."
(Kally, 9)
The great debate: Is it better to be single or married?
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them."
(Lynette, 9)
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble."
(Kenny, 7)
Concerning why love happens between two particular people.
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular."
(Jan, 9)
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." (Harlen, 8)
On what falling in love is like.
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life."
(Roger, 9)
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long."
(Leo, 7)
On the role of good looks in love.
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful."
(Jeanne, 8)
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7)
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time."
(Christine, 9)
Concerning why lovers often hold hands.
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them."
(Dave, 8)
Confidential Opinions About Love
"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The Simpsons' is on television."
(Anita, 6)
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me."
(Bobby, 8)
"I'm not rushing into being in love-I'm finding fourth grade hard enough."
(Regina, 10)
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1355
I am becoming increasingly worried that there isn't enough anxiety in my life.
Today's Clean Pun
Vaguelybond Heart
Valentine's Day: Have I told you lamely that I love you?
Today's Quote
Quote #1797
"The Maker of the Stars would rather die for you than live without you. That is a fact."
- Max Lucado
Today's Illustration
Speaking of Romance
"Do you love me with all your heart and soul?" asked Becky on Valentines Day.
"Mmm hmm," replied Dave.
"Do you think I'm the most beautiful girl in the world?"
"Mmm hmm."
"Do you think my lips are like rose petals?"
"Mmm hmm."
"Oh Dave," gushed Becky, "you say the most beautiful things!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner Mom & Pop grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
"Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog."
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."
Tips on Love ... From Those Who Should Know
(All questions were answered by kids, age 5-10)
What is the proper age to get married?
"Eighty-four, because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom."
(Judy, 8)
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife."
(Tom, 5)
What do most people do on a first date?
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."
(Mike, 10)
Valentine's Day: Have I told you lamely that I love you?
Subcategories
Clean Jokes Article Count: 3626
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Christmas Jokes Article Count: 77
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count: 3
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count: 16
Are you looking for funny elephant pictures? You've come to the right place!
Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count: 1572
Games Article Count: 15
Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.
Funny Pictures Article Count: 679
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Funny Car Pictures Article Count: 169
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Funny Cat Pictures Article Count: 231
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Dog Pictures Article Count: 149
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Funny Horse Pictures Article Count: 24
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count: 53
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count: 544
Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes. Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.
FunBlog Article Count: 533
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Clean Puns Article Count: 1998
Our collection of puns.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Signs Article Count: 167
Our collection of funny signs.
One-liners Article Count: 2052
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chicken Humor Article Count: 1
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!