Cybersalt News

Note: A technical issue prevented last Sunday's mailing from going out. So I'm resurrecting it for today. ;-)

Easter Sunday greetings everyone - the Lord is Risen!

This week, questions arise when Rev. James Snyder eats only one cookie, many times over. You can read "A Cookie Isn’t a Cookie Unless You Can Sneak It" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/a-cookie-isn-t-a-cookie-unless-you-can-sneak-it

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

Today's CleanLaugh

Gravity Situation

I saw a report recently, about how gravity, which is a non-renewable resource, is gradually diminishing.

Top scientists agree, "With the present rate of consumption, the earth's supply of gravity will be exhausted before the 22nd century," say several prominent physicists. "There is a direct link between the vanishing of the ozone layer and the decrease in the earth's gravity supply. We're already seeing the effects of the disappearance of the ozone layer, but we're not likely to feel the effects of vanishing gravity during our lifetimes. However, our children will probably have to deal with the issue."

It is interesting to think of some of the results science has yet to consider. The obvious impact will be on engineering, like keeping bridges and buildings weighted down, but what about sports? Breaking records for the high jump will become easier. Football kicks will grow longer and a 92-yard field goal will not be unheard of.

Until scientists discover a cheaper alternative, we need to help.

We can conserve Gravity, just follow these simple suggestions:

(1) Walk with a light step. Carry helium balloons if possible.

(2) Use tape, magnets or glue instead of paperweights.

(3) Give up skiing and skydiving for more horizontal sports like snorkeling.

(4) Avoid showers .. take baths instead.

(5) Don't hang all your clothes in the closet, keep them in one big pile.

(6) Stop flipping pancakes.

This is most assuredly not a joke. What could be more serious? After all, gravity is the opposite of comedy. You may be laughing now, but just picture your great-grandchildren wearing safety tethers and tied to concrete posts, unable to play outdoors for fear of floating away on a windy day.

Please be gravity conscious, while we still have some. 

Today's One Liner

One-liner #1373

If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving - I don't make the rules!

Today's Clean Pun

Social Remedial

I don't know if Facebook has ever made the lame to walk.

But it has, beyond all doubt, enabled the dumb to speak.

Today's Quote

Quote #1815

"Our faith must be exercised in the realities of everyday life."

- Oswald Chambers

Today's Illustration

Jelly Bean Prayer

Red is for the blood He gave.
Green is for the grass He made.
Yellow is for the sun so bright.
Orange is for the edge of night.

Blue is for the sins we made.
White is for the grace He gave.
Purple is for His hour of sorrow.
Pink is for our new tomorrow.

A bag full of jelly beans, colororful and sweet,
Is a prayer, is a promise, is a special treat.

Happy Easter!!!

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.