Self-Annihilating SentenceNickels are a dime a dozen!
A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, and not the original books. So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there was an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies.
The head monk says "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
A woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend's yard sale, and said to her, "My husband is going to be very angry I stopped at a yard sale."
"I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains you found," her friend replied.
"Normally, yes," she said. "But he just broke his leg, and he's waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set."
Writer's block is serious business; you can't make this stuff up!
Issue #4439
Sunday greetings everyone!
At risk of making this sound like groundhog day, I think sending is back to normal.
This week, Rev. James Snyder reminisces about the positive effect corporal punishment had on him at school. You can read "I Don’t Miss My Teacher’s Hickory Stick, but She Never Did" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/i-don-t-miss-my-teacher-s-hickory-stick-but-she-never-did
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
There's a man trying to cross the street.
As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him. The man walks faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the car changes lanes and is still coming at him.
So the guy turns around to go back, but the car changes lanes again and is still coming at him.
By now, the car is so close and the man so scared that he just freezes and stops in the middle of the road.
The car gets real close, then swerves at the last possible moment and screeches to a halt right next to him.
The driver rolls down the window. The driver is a squirrel. The squirrel says to the man,
"See, it's not as easy as it looks, is it?"
"I am myself, and I'm going to continue to play that role!"
- Richard Nixon
Go ahead and give your pastor a bonus based on church growth... it will bring a new meaning to the words Great Commission.
"I take refuge in the fact that while I don't know everything, I do know Someone who does!"
- A.W. Tozer
Today's Illustration
One of the busiest times for a meat-department manager in a supermarket occurs when there is a sale on particular cuts.
When we put cross-rib roasts on sale one day the result was predictable. I'd bring out a cart of roasts and before I could get them on display, women customers were jostling for their share. Three times I returned with a cart of roasts and three times they were gone before I got to the counter.
The fourth time out I noticed that a man who had quietly been watching began to approach my cart. He elbowed his way in, pushing and shoving, and finally grasped a roast.
Before he could retreat from the crush, an irate woman glared at him and said, "Sir, how about being a gentleman!"
The fellow turned and said, "Ma'am, for twenty minutes I've been a gentleman, now I'm going to be a lady!" And with that, he smiled, took his roast and walked away.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
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Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
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Merry Christmas!
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Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
