Self-Annihilating SentencesIf he were alive today, he'd turn over in his grave!
After my 11 year old son did something really dumb, I called him a "moron."
He looked at me like he was saying, "Dad, do you know anything?"
He finally said "Dad I looked 'moron' up in the dictionary and the definition of it is 'a person who has the intelligence of a 12 year old.'
Thanks Dad, you just gave me a compliment!"
For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions:
"There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being -- a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one's absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows."
To his delight, he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes. Then she nodded in agreement.
Finally, she responded, "I think its a great idea! Can I help you choose which puppy to buy?"
Issue #4443
Sunday greetings everyone!
This week Rev. James Snyder comes to the rescue when his wife reports a bee swarming - only to find the "problem" was a different set of wings. You can read "What It Was, Was a Hummingbird" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/what-it-was-was-a-hummingbird
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
A joke from back in the day when people needed a paper ticket to board an airplane ...
A porter loaded down with suitcases followed the couple to the airline check-in counter.
As they approached the line, the husband glanced at the pile of luggage and said to the wife, "Why didn't you bring the piano, too?"
"Are you trying to be funny?" she replied.
"No, I really wish you had," he sighed. "I left the tickets on it."
Self-Annihilating Sentence: ComplaintsI may be omniscient, but don't expect me to know everything.
They said my writing was emotionally one dimensional; it hurt my feeling.
"The early church had no building, no money, and no political influence. And they turned the world upside-down."
- J. D. Greear
Today's Illustration
A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What is prayer?"
One of her pupils answered, "That's a message sent to God at night and on Sundays when the rates are lower."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
They said my writing was emotionally one dimensional; it hurt my feeling.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
