Cybersalt News
Note: A technical issue prevented last Sunday's mailing from going out. So I'm resurrecting it for today. ;-)
Easter Sunday greetings everyone - the Lord is Risen!
This week, questions arise when Rev. James Snyder eats only one cookie, many times over. You can read "A Cookie Isn’t a Cookie Unless You Can Sneak It" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/a-cookie-isn-t-a-cookie-unless-you-can-sneak-it
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
Today's CleanLaugh
Gravity Situation
I saw a report recently, about how gravity, which is a non-renewable resource, is gradually diminishing.
Top scientists agree, "With the present rate of consumption, the earth's supply of gravity will be exhausted before the 22nd century," say several prominent physicists. "There is a direct link between the vanishing of the ozone layer and the decrease in the earth's gravity supply. We're already seeing the effects of the disappearance of the ozone layer, but we're not likely to feel the effects of vanishing gravity during our lifetimes. However, our children will probably have to deal with the issue."
It is interesting to think of some of the results science has yet to consider. The obvious impact will be on engineering, like keeping bridges and buildings weighted down, but what about sports? Breaking records for the high jump will become easier. Football kicks will grow longer and a 92-yard field goal will not be unheard of.
Until scientists discover a cheaper alternative, we need to help.
We can conserve Gravity, just follow these simple suggestions:
(1) Walk with a light step. Carry helium balloons if possible.
(2) Use tape, magnets or glue instead of paperweights.
(3) Give up skiing and skydiving for more horizontal sports like snorkeling.
(4) Avoid showers .. take baths instead.
(5) Don't hang all your clothes in the closet, keep them in one big pile.
(6) Stop flipping pancakes.
This is most assuredly not a joke. What could be more serious? After all, gravity is the opposite of comedy. You may be laughing now, but just picture your great-grandchildren wearing safety tethers and tied to concrete posts, unable to play outdoors for fear of floating away on a windy day.
Please be gravity conscious, while we still have some.
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1373
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving - I don't make the rules!
Today's Clean Pun
Social Remedial
I don't know if Facebook has ever made the lame to walk.
But it has, beyond all doubt, enabled the dumb to speak.
Today's Quote
Quote #1815
"Our faith must be exercised in the realities of everyday life."
- Oswald Chambers
Today's Illustration
Jelly Bean Prayer
Red is for the blood He gave.
Green is for the grass He made.
Yellow is for the sun so bright.
Orange is for the edge of night.
Blue is for the sins we made.
White is for the grace He gave.
Purple is for His hour of sorrow.
Pink is for our new tomorrow.
A bag full of jelly beans, colororful and sweet,
Is a prayer, is a promise, is a special treat.
Happy Easter!!!
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions:
Self-Annihilating Sentences
Is collating still a thing?
Do you remember back in the day, when you'd go to a store and try to explain to a sales clerk which movie you were looking for?
After my 11 year old son did something really dumb, I called him a "moron."
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 