Entertainment

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"

Self-Annihilating Sentence

Anyone who always tells the truth is a big liar.

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone!

I am happy to report I am 90% over my cold or flu or whatever it was. What a doozy that was!

Rev. James Snyder has enjoyed the life long dilemma of the many things in his life that there are to grin at! You can read "To Grin or Not to Grin, Is My Dilemma" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/to-grin-or-not-to-grin-is-my-dilemma

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

Today's CleanLaugh

Alternative Baptism

As a young preacher, my small church had limited facilities, so we held baptisms in a creek. With alligators in the area, however, that was less than ideal.

Then a minister friend suggested I bring my next group of baptismal candidates to his church for a joint baptismal service. Naturally, I accepted.

The baptismal pool had a clear front so the congregation could see everything. When the baptisms were finished, curtains were drawn, and I was left alone in the pool for a moment. The building had no air conditioning, and it was quite hot. I thought how nice it would feel to take a little dip. I glided to one end, turned, and backstroked to the other end.

Hearing a riotous uproar in the church, I looked toward the congregation.

The curtain was down only to the top of the glass! An astonished and amused congregation had been watching my every move.

Today's One Liner

One-Liner #1416

Self-Annihilating Sentence

At the moment, your suggestion has a permanent place.

Today's Clean Pun

I'm All Shook Up

Hip replacement? More like a pelvis impersonator!

Today's Quote

Quote #1857

"God's silences are actually His answers."

- Oswald Chambers

Today's Illustration

Pancakes

Six year old Brandon decided one Saturday morning to fix his parents pancakes. He found a big bowl and spoon, pulled a chair to the counter, opened the cupboard, and pulled out the heavy flour canister, spilling it on the floor. He scooped some of the flour into the bowl with his hands, mixed in most of a cup of milk and added some sugar, leaving a floury trail on the floor which by now had a few tracks left by his kitten.

Brandon was covered with flour and getting frustrated.

He wanted this to be something very good for his Mom and Dad, but it was getting very bad. He didn't know what to do next, whether to put it all into the oven or on the stove, (and he didn't know how the stove worked)!

Suddenly he saw his kitten licking from the bowl of mix and reached to push her away, knocking the egg carton to the floor. Frantically he tried to clean up this monumental mess but slipped on the eggs, getting his pajamas white and sticky. And just then he saw Dad standing at the door.

Big crocodile tears welled up in Brandon's eyes. All he'd wanted to do was something good, but he'd made a terrible mess. He was sure a scolding was coming, maybe even a spanking. But his father just watched him.

Then, walking through the mess, he picked up his crying son, hugged him, and loved him, getting his own pajamas white and sticky in the process.

That's how God deals with us. We try to do something good in life, but it turns into a mess sometimes. Our marriage gets all sticky, or we insult a friend, or we can't stand our job, or our health goes sour. Sometimes we just stand there in tears because we can't think of anything else to do.

That's when God picks us up and loves. But just because we might mess up, we can't stop trying to "make pancakes" for God or for others.

Sooner or later we'll get it right, and then they'll be glad we tried…

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Hip replacement? More like a pelvis impersonator!