A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.
After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation.
Issue #4492
Sunday greetings everyone!
The Cybersalt Site and Newsletters have been moved to a new server. Please let me know if you don't get this mailing. ?
This week Rev. James Snyder gets a reminder to follow through on one of his New Year's resolutions. You can read "A Minister And A Day Off His Rocker" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/a-minister-and-a-day-off-his-rocker
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.
After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation.
For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married.
"Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" he requested.
Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.
The main trouble with impossibility is that it is never total.
"Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you. Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you."
- unknown
Today's Illustration
Often people say to me "You just won't understand."
"You're way too old," or "Way too young," or "YOU are NOT a man."
I don't know why some people feel they suffer unique pain.
As if they are the only ones who've lost or ceased to gain.
I don't know why they hide their pain and clutch it ever tighter.
It seems to me that all should know - a burden shared gets lighter.
Why some folks even deign to think the pain that's in their heart,
Is all their own, to keep and hoard, they set themselves apart.
They keep their eyes from meeting mine lest I should see their hurt.
And even if we stop and speak their words are often curt.
The Bible says: 'Two' can withstand what overcomes just 'one'.
And also that - a 'Cord of Three' can scarcely be undone.
Besides, I know the ways of hurt - my heart's been crushed before.
Friends have betrayed - I've lost at love, Despair's knocked at my door.
And I Remember - thoughts gone wild - and crying late at night.
Not having strength to care at all - much less the strength to fight.
But, someone special came to me - and when my trials were told.
I realized that with their tears - they'd eased my heavy load.
And so, I learned - that Pain - like Love - is bearable if shared.
I don't know what I would have done without that friend who cared.
My trials did not vanish fast - in fact the time was long.
But sharing gave me breathing space until I could grow strong
Enough to laugh again and even start to smile -
And though it seemed it could not help - It eased my pain awhile.
So, if you think that you can't share cause I won't understand.
At least just give me half a chance to lend a helping hand.
For I know that you're hurting and I know a place to start.
Perhaps if you could realize - your pain burns in my heart.
I know I cannot make your trials and troubles go away.
But maybe I can help a bit to get you through today.
And maybe by tomorrow you won't need help anymore.
But if you should - Don't be ashamed - for that's what friends are for.
And after all is said and done - the trials ceased - you're whole.
Perhaps you'll know just what to do to help another soul -
Who's being crushed by hurt and pain - be it woman or a man.
And you won't have to hear them say, "You just won't understand."
-Author Unknown
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
The main trouble with impossibility is that it is never total.
The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient.
"You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?"
"That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks."
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
You may have noticed that Sunday's mailing did not go out until Monday. I'm in the midst of bringing a new server into the Cybersalt fold and a change I made in the cluster caused the mailing to be delayed.
Speaking of which, this week I will be moving the Cybersalt Site and Cybersalt lists to that new server. The mailings will go out under the same domain, but the IP number of that domain is going to change. This might also cause an interruption of your receiving Cybersalt mailings while servers around the world adjust to this change. Emails from me might end up in your spam folder. So if you notice things aren't arriving please have a look around.
Remember, you can always catch up on missed mailings in the online archives at:
Cybersalt Digest
www.cybersalt.org/index.php?option=com_acymailing&view=archive&layout=listing&lang=en
PearlyGates
https://www.cybersalt.org/index.php?option=com_acymailing&view=archive&layout=listing&lang=en
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.
The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.
His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"
Self-Annihilating SentenceAnyone who always tells the truth is a big liar.
What do you call a French guy wearing sandals?
Philippe Philoppe
"Grace never seems fair until you need a little."
- Bob Goff
Since he runs a pawnshop, I decided to ask a friend of mine to appraise my grandfather's violin. "Old fiddles aren't worth much, I'm afraid," he explained.
"What makes it a fiddle and not a violin?" I asked.
"If you're buying it from me, it's a violin. If I'm buying it from you, it's a fiddle."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
