Don't be worried about your smartphone and TV spying on you.
Your vacuum has been gathering dirt on you for years!
Issue #4515
Sunday Greetings everyone - and Happy New Year! I hope it's a great year for you full of many blessings.
Sorry that there was no mailing on the first Chicken Thursday of the year. The day before we had driven to our son's house for a New Year's Day campfire and wiener roast and then drove home at the end of a fun day. The next morning I woke up and realized I had totally forgotten to put it together and schedule it the night before.
I had a pretty good laugh reading the latest article from Rev. James Snyder. I wish I had been there watching him wish he had popcorn while waiting for his wife to notice a lizard in their hotel room. You can read, "Oh, Those Alluring Lizardly Eyes" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/oh-those-alluring-lizardly-eyes
~ Pastor Tim
On the way back to New York as I was sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that the flight to Vegas was full. The airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats. In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later. About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer.
About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter said,
"If there is anyone else OTHER than the flight crew who'd like to volunteer, please step forward..."
Marriage Tip:
"Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that . . .
'This conversation will be recorded for training and quality purposes.'"
Don't be worried about your smartphone and TV spying on you.
Your vacuum has been gathering dirt on you for years!
"God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
the courage to change the one I can,
and the wisdom to know it's me."
~ Rev. Tracey Dawson
Today's Illustration
While the soldiers stood at attention during a parade, a private waved to someone in the crowd. "Jones, never do that again!" the drill instructor whispered.
But a few minutes later, the soldier waved a second time. Back in the barracks after the parade, the DI stormed in and barked for Jones to come front and center.
"Private, you knew I was going to see you," he screamed. "You knew it was wrong. Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Yes, sir!" replied Jones. "But you don't know my mother!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Marriage Tip:
"Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that . . .
'This conversation will be recorded for training and quality purposes.'"
On the way back to New York as I was sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that the flight to Vegas was full. The airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats. In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later. About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer.
About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter said,
"If there is anyone else OTHER than the flight crew who'd like to volunteer, please step forward..."
Issue #4514
Sunday Greetings everyone!
This is the last Cybersalt mailing of the year and the decade! May God bless each and every one of you as the number rolls over and Jesus remains the same.
Rev. James Snyder seems to have done alright for gifts this year, but that still isn't stopping him from pondering the etiquette and hurtles of returning some of them. You can read, "Proper Etiquette for Returning Christmas Gifts" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/proper-etiquette-for-returning-christmas-gifts
~ Pastor Tim
A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's the matter?" he was asked.
He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation. Don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"
"He was just trying to comfort you; what's so frightening about that?"
"He wasn't talking to me. He was talking to the doctor!"
Don't bother me; I'm living happily ever after.
Next week we have a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
"If serving is below you, leadership is beyond you."
- Unknown
Today's Illustration
The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle in the church's soon to be put away nativity scene when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures.
Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon. In the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus.
So he walked up to the boy and said, "Well, where did you get him, my fine friend?"
The little boy replied, "I got him from the church."
"And why did you take him?"
The boy said, "Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas I would give him a ride around the block in it."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
