Manny was getting older. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just bounced from one relationship to the next.
Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?"
"No," Manny replied. "I meet a lot of nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!"
"Listen," his friend suggested, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear ole Mother?"
Engagement ring: aka a Kneel Diamond.
I pretend to work; they pretend to pay me.
Sunday Greetings everyone!
A big thank you to Steve R. for letting me know that Thursday's item entitled "Paid in Full" is actually the song "No Charge", sung by Steve and Annie Chapman:
store.steveandanniechapman.com/collections/music/products/a-mothers-touch-1
Wendy G. also let me know that it was written by songwriter Harlan Howard and originally recorded by country music singer Melba Montgomery in 1974.
I've updated the site and now you all know too!
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was.
Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children,
"Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that's your pa in there."
I started out with nothing and still have most of it left!
Cowboy: Could you help me round up my eighteen cows?
Me: Sure. That will be twenty cows.
"Worship is a declaration of war against everything that says God can't."
- Louis Giglio
The Lord and I are in a shepherd-sheep relationship, and I am in a position of negative need.
He prostrates me in a green-belt grazing area, and conducts me into lateral proximity with a non-torrential aqueous accumulation.
He restores to original satisfaction levels my psychological makeup.
Notwithstanding the fact that I make ambulatory progress through the non-illuminated geological interstice of mortality, terror sensations shall not be manifest within me due to the proximity of omnipotence.
Your pastoral walking aid and quadruped-restraint module induce in me a pleasurific mood state.
You design and produce a nutrient-bearing support structure in the context of non-cooperative elements.
You enact a head-related folk ritual utilizing vegetable extracts, and my beverage container exhibits inadequate volumetric parameters.
Surely it must be an intrinsic non-deductible factor that your inter-relational, emphatic, and non-vengeful attributes will pursue me as their target focus for the duration of the current non-death period.
And I will possess tenant rights in the residential facility of the Lord on a permanently open-ended time basis.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
