Does your train of thought have a caboose?
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
Entertainment
Issue #4512
Cybersalt News
Sunday Greetings everyone and since this it the last Cybersalt Digest before the 25th, Merry Christmas!
This being a Sunday, many of you may be confused to see a chicken pictured today instead of Chicken Thursday. It comes with a story that I think will resonate with many of you at this time of year and so it deserves this special honour.
I recently took this picture at the home/hobby farm of a couple who are very close friends of Susan and mine. Their Christmas and very lives have been turned upside down by the recent and sudden stage-4 cancer diagnosis of our up-until-now very healthy 52 year old friend. She, her husband, and their three grown daughters are resting in and clinging to their faith in their Saviour born in Bethlehem to set mankind free from the power of sin and death.
Like our friends, many of you are facing this season of "holydays" with a hovering shadow of fear or sorrow in your life or the life of loved ones and friends. Others feel the sharp absence of those who have passed, are estranged, incarcerated, or are too far away to be with. Our culture's hyper focus on happiness, merriness, and bounty is an impossible standard to attain when all that can be felt or measured is loss.
In such times and circumstances let us remember that the angels told the shepherds they had "good news of great joy" not "good news of great happiness" - that night a Saviour was born, Christ the Lord!
Now I ask you, "Who needs a saviour?"
The answer, "Someone who needs to be saved." Christmas is a celebration of hope that someday we will be saved from what plagues us in this world and what would otherwise be waiting when we leave it. We have all sinned and broken our lives but Good News; God is not angry with us, He became man to save us back to a relationship with Him!
If you can be happy this Christmas then how good for you because times of happiness are a gift from God too. But greater than happiness is the Joy that is for all times because of His incredibly extravagant gift of Jesus!
May the Joy of Christmas be in each of you.
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Last Minute Suggestions
Automotive Gift Suggestions - Just in Time for Last Minute Christmas Shopping
If you have an "Automotive Minded" person in your life, these gift suggestions should be considered.
1. Tire Air Change Kit. This kit comes with everything you need to change the air in your tires. This highly recommended but often overlooked maintenance item is much easier now. Remember to change your air every 3000 miles or twice a year. $25
2. Blinker Fluid. You knew it existed but, WOW, is this stuff hard to find. 4oz bottle. $12
3. Synthetic Blinker Fluid. Better yet! 4oz bottle. $24
4. Light Bulb Filaments. Why throw away a perfectly good turn signal or stop light bulb when you can just install a new filament? Premium Filaments, made in the USA! $1 each.
5. Manifold Heat. Yes, your exhaust manifold should be HOT. If it's not, you may need this item. Sold by the pound. $3.50
6. Steering Wheel Gaskets. All SIZES available! Email for specific application. From $9.99
7. Tie Rod Tensioner. Is your tie rod limp? Tension it with T-50! $14.99
8. Alternator Batteries. (4 required, replace them all!) From $2.99
9. Fan Belt Buckles. Specify brass or chrome. Gold available special order. $14.99
10. Muffler Bearing Manual. Print version $59.95
11. Muffler Bearing Manual. CD version $49.99
12. Universal Muffler Bearing Tool Kit $105.59
13. Muffler Bearing Hi Temp Synthetic Lube (the only kind we sell!) $40.24
14. Muffler Bearings from $19.95
15. Muffler Bearing Gasket Kits from $9.99
16. Momentum (required for tackling some off road obstacles). Sold by the lb-ft/sec $0.50
17. Microsoft Windows Eliminator. If your car or truck begins to run poorly, (long time to start, frequent crashes, etc.), it's computer, (ecm, ecu, black box, etc.), may have become infected with this nasty computer virus. This product will safely remove the virus. $199
18. Mirror Image Flipper Film. Did you know that the image you see in your rear view mirrors are reversed! This is a manufacturing flaw that the auto companies have kept secret for years as the recall would cost BILLIONS!
This film can be cut and placed over any mirror to correct the image. Now you'll be able to read signs in the rear view mirror! $5 per square ft.
Today's One Liner
One-Liner #1439
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Today's Clean Pun
Last Name Revealed
In case you didn't know; Yoda's last name was Layheehoo.
When he was a baby his relatives called him; Little Yoda Layheehoo
Today's Quote
Quote #1877
"You can read every fairy tale that was ever written, every mystery thriller, every ghost story, and you will never find anything so shocking, so strange, so weird and spellbinding as the story of the incarnation of the Son of God."
- John Piper
Today's Illustration
Ah, Dearest Jesus
Ah, dearest Jesus, holy Child,
Make thee a bed, soft, undefiled,
Within my heart, that it may be
A quiet chamber kept for Thee.
My heart for very joy doth leap,
My lips no more can silence keep,
I too must sing, with joyful tongue,
That sweetest ancient cradle song,
Glory to God in highest heaven,
Who unto man His Son hath given
While angels sing with pious mirth.
A glad new year to all the earth.
- Martin Luther
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
In case you didn't know; Yoda's last name was Layheehoo.
When he was a baby his relatives called him; Little Yoda Layheehoo
Two tips for Christmas:
One: Forget the past, you can't change it
Two: Forget the present, I didn't get you one
Twas the night before Christmas, in Texas you know,
Way out on the prairie, without any snow.
Asleep in their cabin, were Buddy and Sue,
A dreaming of Christmas, like me and like you.
Not stockings but boots, at the foot of their beds,
For this was Texas, what more need be said?
When all of a sudden from out the still night,
There came such a ruckus, it gave me a fright!
Subcategories
Clean Jokes Article Count: 3626
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Christmas Jokes Article Count: 77
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count: 3
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count: 16
Are you looking for funny elephant pictures? You've come to the right place!
Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count: 1572
Games Article Count: 15
Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.
Funny Pictures Article Count: 679
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Funny Car Pictures Article Count: 169
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Funny Cat Pictures Article Count: 231
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Dog Pictures Article Count: 149
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Funny Horse Pictures Article Count: 24
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count: 53
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count: 544
Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes. Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.
FunBlog Article Count: 533
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Clean Puns Article Count: 2021
Our collection of puns.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Signs Article Count: 167
Our collection of funny signs.
One-liners Article Count: 2073
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chicken Humor Article Count: 1
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!