~ Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.
~ I trace my family history so I will know who to blame.
~ Can a first cousin, once removed, return?
~ Searching for lost relatives? Win the lottery!
~ Do I even WANT ancestors?
Sunday Greetings everyone.
Grandma Cybersalt is back so I am happy to offer the full menu in today's digest!
The definition of a "Good Day" has changed over the years for Rev. James Snyder. You can read "If Every Dog Has Its Day I Should Be Barking" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/if-every-dog-has-its-day-i-should-be-barking
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's "passage-restrictive."
Kids don't get in trouble anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."
You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."
No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced."
You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."
You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."
It's not called gossip anymore. It's "transmission of near-factual information."
The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."
Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."
You're not sleeping in class; you're "rationing consciousness."
You don't have smelly gym socks; you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."
You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."
You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."
Self-Annihilating SentencesA good system can transform complexity into chaos!
The only thing that flat-earthers fear ...
...is sphere itself.
What is sin?
Sin is the glory of God not honored,
the holiness of God not reverenced,
the greatness of God not admired,
the power of God not praised,
the truth of God not sought,
the wisdom of God not esteemed,
the beauty of God not treasured,
the goodness of God not savored,
the faithfulness of God not trusted,
the promises of God not believed,
the commandments of God not obeyed,
the justice of God not respected,
the wrath of God not feared,
the grace of God not cherished,
the presence of God not prized,
the person of God not loved.
That is sin.
- John Piper
I took my granddaughter to church camp for the first time last weekend. Behind the sanctuary is a restroom facility that is separate from other buildings. A common topic of conversation was a problem that was occurring this year - bugs and crickets seem to seek refuge in the restroom.
One evening during church service, my granddaughter asked me where the bathroom was because she needed to use it. I told her she could use the restroom behind the sanctuary.
She exclaimed, "Grandma, I am afraid to go to that restroom because there are a lot of bugs and hypocrites in there!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
The only thing that flat-earthers fear ...
...is sphere itself.
Self-Annihilating SentencesA good system can transform complexity into chaos!
Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's "passage-restrictive."
Kids don't get in trouble anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."
You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."
No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced."
You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
