Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Thanks to subscriber Kathie L. for sending some great chicken pictures - one of which is featured today!
Not all of you are subscribed to my Pearly Gates Newsletter and some of you would probably not enjoy it because there is something theologically wrong with every single one. That said, last week in Church I heard a Pearly Gates joke I had never heard - which is saying something after all these years. I've added it to the Cybersalt Site today and if you are curious you will find "Special Admission" at:
www.cybersalt.org/pearly-gates-jokes/christmas-special
If you want to subscribe to the PearlyGates list you can subscribe at:
www.cybersalt.org/subscribe
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Christmas in Texas
Twas the night before Christmas, in Texas you know,
Way out on the prairie, without any snow.
Asleep in their cabin, were Buddy and Sue,
A dreaming of Christmas, like me and like you.
Not stockings but boots, at the foot of their beds,
For this was Texas, what more need be said?
When all of a sudden from out the still night,
There came such a ruckus, it gave me a fright!
And I saw cross the prairie, like the shot from a gun,
A loaded up buckboard, come on at a run.
The driver was "whistling" and "shouting" with a will,
The "Horses" (not reindeer) he drove with such skill.
"Come on there Buck, Poncho, and Prince, to the right"
There'll be plenty of travelin' for you-all tonight..
The driver in his Levis, and a shirt that was red,
Had a 10 gallon Stetson on the top of his head.
As he stepped from the buckboard, he was really a sight,
with his beard so curly and white.
As he burst in the cabin, the children awoke,
And both so astonished, that neither one spoke.
And he filled up their boots with such presents galore,
That neither could think of a single thing more.
When Buddy recovered the use of his jaws,
He asked in a whisper "Are you really Santa Claus?"
"Am I the real Santa? Well, what do you think?
And he smiled as he gave his mysterious wink.
Then he left in his buckboard, and called back in a drawl,
TO ALL CHILDREN OF TEXAS - MERRY CHRISTMAS! YEE HAW!
- by Leon A. Harris
Today's One Liner
One-Liner #1438
"Male reindeer lose their antlers in winter and females don't, so Santa's sleigh is actually pulled by a team of women . . . of course it is."
Today's Clean Pun
Christmas Tips
Two tips for Christmas:
One: Forget the past, you can't change it
Two: Forget the present, I didn't get you one
Today's Quote
Quote #1876
Put Christ back into Christianity
Love God
Love Your Neighbour As Yourself
Take Up Your Cross And Follow Me
Forgive 70 X 7
Whoever Is Without Sin Cast the First Stone
Treat Others The Way You Want To Be Treated
Love Your Enemies
Let Your Light Shine
Feed The Hungry
Don't Return Evil for Evil
Visit Those In Prison
Clothe The Naked
House The Homeless
Welcome The Foreigner
Care For The Sick
Love One Another As I Have Loved You
Make Disciples
Take Heart, I Have Overcome The World
Today's Illustration
Christmas Shopping with Children
After some last-minute Christmas shopping with her grandchildren, my friend was rushing them into the car when four-year-old Jason said, "Grandma, Susie has something in her pocket." He reached in and pulled out a new red barrette.
Though she was tired, my friend knew it was important for Susie to put the item back where she had found it. They did just that.
Later at the grocery store checkout, the clerk asked, "Have you kids been good so Santa will come?"
"I've been very good," replied Jason, "but my sister just robbed a store."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.