First day as a police officer ...
Captain: "Why did you call for back up?"
Me: "There was a fly in my car."
Swat Team Leader: "What exactly do you think we do??"
Self-Annihilating One-Liners: The Way of the WorldTransience is here to stay.
Officers at a military installation were being lectured about a new computer. The training officer said the computer was able to withstand nuclear and chemical attacks.
Suddenly, he saw that one of the officers had a cup of coffee and yelled, "There will be no eating or drinking in this room! You'll have to get rid of that coffee."
The officer said meekly, "Sure, but why?"
"Because a coffee spill could ruin the keyboard."
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
If you live in a part of the world that turns the clocks back an hour in the fall, you know we're heading into the dark days of the year. I hope you are a snug and cozy as today's chicken!
Here at Cybersalt World Headquarters, the office doors are closed and an electric cube heater is making due after the gas fireplace Grandma Cybersalt and I heat our basement with packed it in. It will be a couple of weeks until a replacement can be in place.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing - number 4500!
~ Pastor Tim
~ Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.
~ I trace my family history so I will know who to blame.
~ Can a first cousin, once removed, return?
~ Searching for lost relatives? Win the lottery!
~ Do I even WANT ancestors?
~ Genealogy: Where you confuse the dead and irritate the living.
~ Every family tree has some sap in it.
~ Friends come and go, but relatives tend to accumulate.
~ Genealogists never die, they just lose their roots.
~ Genealogy: A haystack full of needles. It's the threads I need.
~ Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools.
~ I think my family tree is a few branches short of full bloom.
~ Theory of relativity: If you go back far enough, we're all related.
Self-Annihilating Sentences: CommandsWe must be decisive, but on the other hand ...
People in Athens hate getting up early ... because Dawn is tough on Greece.
"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken adults..."
- F. Douglass
Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married within a month of each other, a woman asked, "What kind of boy did your daughter marry?"
"Oh, he's wonderful," gushed the mother. "He lets her sleep late, wants her to go to the beauty parlor regularly, and insists on taking her out to dinner every night."
"That's sounds lovely," said the woman. "What about your son?"
"I'm not so happy about that," the mother sighed. "His wife sleeps late, spends all her time in the beauty parlor, and makes them eat take-out meals!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from the leader of Israel. "Your Holiness", said one of his Cardinals, the Prime Minister wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths."
The Pope thought this was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his hand. "Don't we have a Cardinal to represent me?" he asked.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
