I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking.
He called me a quitter.
~Steven Pearl
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.
The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one."
The next day the collections manager received a phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."
Vacation: What you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking all along!
Click here to view this edition online!
Sunday greetings everyone!
The news today is that I can hardly wait until Wednesday to follow up on some of your replies to the news on Wednesday. Some of you are a real hoot!
Today's video share is from a YouTube channel that Grandma Cybersalt and I enjoy watching. Mark Rober is crazy smart: there is even tech on Mars that he has help build! But his latest video is about someone here on earth at the center of his world.
Our collective world would be so much better if more would take his message to heart!
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober
A Goober named Pam is appearing on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" with Regis Philbin.
Regis: "Pam, you're up to $500,000 with one lifeline left: phone a friend. If you get it right, the next question is worth one million dollars. If you get it wrong, you drop back to $32,000. Are you ready?"
Pam: "Yes."
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush."
Pam: "I'd like to phone a friend. I'd like to call Carol."
Carol (also a Goober) answers the phone: "Hello?"
Regis: "Hello Carol, it's Regis Philbin from Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I have your friend Pam here who needs your help to answer the one million dollar question. The next voice you hear will be Pam's..."
Pam: "Carol, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush."
Carol: "Oh, Pam. That's simple. It's a cuckoo."
Pam: "Are you sure?"
Carol: "I'm sure."
Regis: "Pam, you heard Carol. Do you keep the $500,000 or play for the million?"
Pam: "I want to play; I'll go with C) cuckoo."
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Pam: "Yes."
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Pam: "Yes; I think Carol's pretty smart."
Regis: "You said C) cuckoo, and you're right! Congratulations, you have just won one million dollars!"
To celebrate, Pam flies Carol to New York. That night they go out on the town. As they're celebrating, Pam looks at Carol and asks her, "Tell me, how did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?"
"That's easy, everybody knows they live in clocks.”
She drives a vehicle that costs $1,000 a mile ... a shopping cart.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
“Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.”
"Remember, despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves."
- Matt Kahn
My father, a submariner, was often out at sea for family occasions. As a result, he sometimes forgot about them.
One year he missed my mother's birthday. Unfortunately, it was impossible for her to tell him how furious she was since the Navy screened all messages, editing out anything that could be considered disturbing to the men on board.
However, my mother was not so easily defeated.
She sent my dad a message, thanking him profusely for the lovely birthday present he so kindly remembered to send her. Mom went on about how special Dad had made her feel by his thoughtfulness, and how grateful she was for his generosity.
Navy personnel forwarded the note. Dad got the message and never forgot my mother's birthday again.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
I am a student of smileology and have been just about all my life. If you can't smile at something,it's not worth thinking about. Of course, certain things in life are serious, but not that many. Too many people take everything seriously and ruin their life. These are the kind of people I like to be around because they take things so seriously and because of that, the jokes on them.
When I see somebody that looks sad, I have an impulse to try to do something to make them laugh. It is that smile on our face that defines who we are.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
She drives a vehicle that costs $1,000 a mile ... a shopping cart.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
