Entertainment

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober

A Goober named Pam is appearing on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" with Regis Philbin.

Regis: "Pam, you're up to $500,000 with one lifeline left: phone a friend. If you get it right, the next question is worth one million dollars. If you get it wrong, you drop back to $32,000. Are you ready?"

Pam: "Yes."

Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush."

Pam: "I'd like to phone a friend. I'd like to call Carol."

“Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.”

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

There is lots of news to catch up on this week.

First of all, last week I asked if anyone could tell me what it said on my t-shirt in my vaccination picture. Congratulations to Tony T., Mike K., and William R. who got it right: “In my defense, I was left unsupervised.” I must also give honorable mention to Walter M., who made a valiant guess.

Secondly, last week I tried to make a pun using the words "vile" and "vial" but accidentally used "vile" twice. I think that John P. caught my mistake, but for sure Lynne T. definitely did. When Lynne reached out to me I could tell that her irritation at grammatical errors is only superseded by her kindness and gentleness. I was so moved and entertained by what she wrote I just have to share it with you:

"Hello. Many thanks for “PearlyGates”. To my ongoing frustration I’m an incurable pedant and find myself so irritated by errors in language that I am driven to point out the error. I hope this isn’t too aggravating for you. I just want to point out that you got a “vial” from the pharmacist. Not a “vile”. At least that’s how we spell it in Australia. (Did you notice the reference to frustration, irritation and aggravation and the above?) Blessings to you Lynne T."

Lynne, as I am sure you know, I wasn't trying to be vile when I made my vial mistake. I mostly apologize for making that mistake that drove you up the wall, down under. I'm not like those people who make mistakes and then say it wasn't there fault. Its something I am aware of and will definitely keep working on. ;-)

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim

What the Engineer Says (and what it means)

A number of different approaches are being tried.
(We are still grasping at straws.)

We're working on a fresh approach to the problem.
(We just hired three kids fresh out of college.)

Close project coordination.
(We know who to blame.)

Major technological break through.
(It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.)

Customer satisfaction upon delivery is assured.
(We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.)

Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive.
(The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.)

Test results were extremely gratifying.
(We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.)

The entire concept will have to be abandoned.
(The only person who understood the thing quit.)

It is in process.
(It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.)

We'll look into it.
(Forget it! We have enough problems for now.)

Please read and initial.
(Let's spread the responsibility for the mistake.)

Give us the benefit of your thoughts.
(We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.)

Give us your interpretation.
(I can't wait to hear this!)

See me, or Let's Discuss.
(Come into my office, I'm lonely.)

All new!
(Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.)

Rugged
(Too heavy to lift!)

Lightweight
(Lighter than rugged.)

Years of development
(One finally worked.)

Energy saving
(Achieved when the power switch is off.)

Low maintenance
(Impossible to fix if broken.)

She calls her car "flattery" because it gets her nowhere.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

“Gossip : Letting the chat out of the bag!”

"In a society that profits from your self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act."

- Unknown

From "The Brandon Republican and Eastern Advocate," of Brandon, Mississippi, Volume 1, Number 39, December 29, 1837

NOTICE TO YOUNG LADIES, WIDOWS AND OLD MAIDS

Whereas my husband, Isaac W. Odom, left home without any just provocation on Saturday night the 11th instant, with an intention of not returning, this is to forewarn all persons from stopping him or impeding him on his journey in any way whatever, as I am resolved not to pursue him, as this is the second time he has made the attempt.

I particularly forewarn all young ladies or widows from marrying or harboring him, as I do positively assure them that they would rue their bargain. He is about 5 feet 11 inches high, spare made, light hair, blue eyes, tolerably talkative, fond of company, 39 years old. Any person seeing him will do me a favor by advising him never to return, as I positively will never live with him.

Mahalah Ann Odom, Yalobusha Co. Nov. 23, 1837

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

"The Law of Volunteering"
If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

"The Law of Avoiding Oversell"
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.