One for the money,
two for the show,
three to get ready,
four to go,
and twenty when you get back for the babysitter.
“Since I have the shape of a yeast roll, don't you think I would make a good roll model?”
- Lawrence Brotherton
As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months.
One day while shopping at the base commissary, I realized another crucial aspect of my job. I was trailing a frazzled mother with two active children. I watched as she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case.
"If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Thank you, everyone, for your patience and kind words after last Thursday's mailing was skipped due to the pain in my right foot. I'll be honest, "Arthur" really delivered on his latest visit. My foot is still not completely right - though it still is completely right!
Speaking of things that aren't right, as you can see from the picture on the right I changed my beard style to the "Monkey Tail" yesterday. Last year, weeks into the pandemic, I let my beard grow in with the plan being to shave it when I was vaccinated and the pandemic was over. Of course, we know now that pandemics don't stop on a dime like that, so I changed my beard-shaving-timing to 3 weeks after I got my first shot; when my body's immune response had started to kick in. Yesterday was the day, but a few months ago I had seen pictures of the monkey tail beard online and thought I'd make that stop along the way.
The truth is, from time to time I change my facial hair for a bit of mental health fun and maintenance. A change in beardom can be a great way to break up boredom, or to even help with a mental burden. It's like putting a new layer of icing on a tier of cake before moving on to the next level. It is no different than how some people dye their, switch up the furniture placement in a commonly used room, or change their name and move to a country where they don't speech the language. Pro-tip: don't try the monkey tail beard and moving to a different country at the same time!
Now, back to where we should have been last week!
Two weeks ago I commented on how Lynne T. was so pained, but delightfully polite, in correcting my misuse of the word "vile" instead of "vial." Quite intentionally, and just for fun, I concluded with this grammatically horrific apology to Lynne:
I mostly apologize for making that mistake that drove you up the wall, down under. I'm not like those people who make mistakes and then say it wasn't there fault. Its something I am aware of and will definitely keep working on. ;-)
To my delight, many of you were quick to notice that I used "there" instead of "their" along the way. I assure you that this was entirely intentional, with my tongue deeply in cheek. It gave me great joy when some of you actually thought it was another mistake I had not noticed.
However, I was filled with both joy and glee at the fact that everybody was so shocked by my misuse of "there" that nobody even noticed that two words later I intentionally used the wrong "its!"
Thank you, thankyou, thank-you for all the happiness you bring by interacting with with this middle-aged, monkey-tail faced grandfather!
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Two older women, Colleen and Melinda, who were rivals in a social circle met at a party at their country club.
"My dear," said Melinda, "Are those real pearls?"
"They are," replied Colleen.
"Of course the only way I could tell would be for me to bite them," smiled Melinda.
Colleen responded, "Yes, but for that you would need real teeth."
She suffers in silence louder than anyone I know!
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
General Mills makes Corn Chex, Rice Chex, etc. If the Post company bought these brands, then I have a new product for them.
Take some Wheat Chex, add pieces of fresh dates and a little cinnamon and sugar, and voila!
New, Post Dated Chex!
"A preacher's life should be a commentary of his doctrine; his practice should be a counterpart of his sermons."
- Thomas Brooks
While sitting on the train one day, the man next to me started screaming, "Call me a doctor! Call me a doctor!"
I asked, "Are you sick?"
"No," he replied, "I just graduated from medical school."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!"
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
