An elderly couple was crossing the Canadian border to go to their winter recluse in Florida. At the crossing they were stopped by an over-zealous border guard, on his first day at work. He commenced to ask the couple a battery of questions.
The husband, on behalf of his almost deaf wife, answered the barrage of queries.
Officer: "Where are you going?"
Husband: "We're on vacation and going to Florida."
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
- Fred Allen
I got the strangest recording when I called the phone company the other day.
It said, "You have been connected to the correct department on the first try. This is against company policy. Please hang up and redial."
Never choose a first mate who takes the wind out of your sails.
Click here to view this edition online!
Sunday greetings everyone!
Today's news is going to be a bit disjointed because I am too. So, I'm just going to let things tumble out and I think I'll get to where I'm going anyway.
First of all, I want you to know that I try not to make the Cybersalt News section really heavy. I know the each week different of you Cybersaltines are going through hard times and seasons in life, so my goal for this newsletter is that it be a "pick me up."
With that in mind, if this is a hard time or season for you - especially if you have lost someone to COVID - and you do need a pick me up, I encourage you to skip this news today. I don't mind at all and completely understand.
There was no mailing last Chicken Thursday because last week my childhood and lifelong friend, Darrell, was on life support. So, I scaled back on my week to make room for self-care.
Once it was clear that Darrell was gone and it was time to take him off the machines, his wife learned that he was an organ donor. This led to a couple of more days on life support while as many matches as possible were made for organ transplants. Once off the machines, Darrell's passing completed after 18 minutes. His lungs, kidneys, and liver are now, hopefully, giving others a new hope for extended life.
It was a very hard week. Grandma Cybersalt and I are OK.
I once sat days with a family from my church as they waited for a liver to become available for transplant for their daughter/sister. One did become available, but sadly she had deteriorated too much to receive it and she died. In another case, a mentor of mine did receive a liver in time and he continues to enjoy life today with his wife, kids, and grandkids. Darrell's being a donor forced me to experience a different side of organ donation. I have many things to share from that side, but I think I'll leave them for another time and maybe another forum.
However, one thing I will speak of now is how gripping it was to realize that somewhere out there a few people were about to receive something life-saving and life-changing that they had been holding out hope for for a very long time. I didn't know where they were, who they were, or what their stories were, but I felt so invested in them. I prayed for them and in my heart I was cheering for them that it would work out well for them.
Along the way I recalled a powerful video I watched a couple of months ago. It was a video I immediately knew I wanted to share with you all, however, I set it aside for a different time because I knew it could be very sad and/devastating for anyone who has lost (or maybe is losing) someone to COVID. It's a video of a transplant patient taking her first breaths with her new lungs.
I hope and pray my dear friend's passing, and his wife's sacrifice of honouring his wishes and prolonging the agonizing process of losing him, has lead to someone experiencing a new beginning like this woman and her family.
I don't even know how to put into words the possibility that you or I being indicating we want to be organ donors could so the same thing.
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
A husband went to buy a birthday gift for his wife. Some friends had been invited over that night to celebrate her fortieth, and he wanted to get something special. At the store he spotted some cute little music boxes. One blue one was playing "Happy Birthday." Thinking they were all the same, he chose a red one and had it gift-wrapped.
Later, at dinner, he gave it to his wife and asked her to open it.
When she lifted the lid, out came the tune to "The Old Gray Mare, She Ain't What She Used to Be!"
You know it's going to be a bad day when your twin brother forgets your birthday.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Give some people an inch and they think they're rulers.
"You may not always have a comfortable life and you will not always be able to solve all of the world's problems at once, but don't ever underestimate the importance you can have, because history has shown us that courage can be contagious and hope can take on a life of its own."
- Michelle Obama
Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask 'How are you?'
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not seen his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
'Cause you never had time
To call and say, "Hi"?
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere,
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower.
Hear the music.
Before the song is over.
Used with Permission
Attributed to David L. Weatherford
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Never has our world been more divided than today. Politics, religion, sports and on and on I could go.
For the most part, so many people think being divided is a negative thing. And for many people it is.
However, after being married to the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage for almost 50 years,
I have discovered that a divided house can be a very happy house.
It just depends on how you are divided and what divides you. That makes all the difference in the house.
Being married as long as I have been does not make me an expert in this area.
I am only an expert in forbearance, which is the reason there is always a smile on my face. Whether you believe it or not, that smile is genuine.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
